peachy.

LYRICS: The Fray - Look After You

2007-07-19T02:29:00.000+08:00

The Fray - Look After You

If I don't say this now I will surely break
As I'm leaving the one I want to take
Forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait
My heart has started to separate

Oh, oh,
Be my baby
Ohhhhh
Oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you

There now, steady love, so few come and don't go
Will you won't you, be the one I'll always know
When I'm losing my control, the city spins around
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down

Oh, oh
Be my baby
Ohhhhhh
Oh, oh
Be my Baby
I'll look after you
And I'll look after you

If ever there was a doubt
My love she leans into me
This most assuredly counts
She says most assuredly

Oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you
After You
Oh, oh
Be my baby
Ohhhhh

It's always have and never hold
You've begun to feel like home
What's mine is yours to leave or take
What's mine is yours to make your own

Oh, oh
Be my baby
Ohhhhh
Oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you

You are so beautiful to me ...

POST: Closer

2007-04-29T21:02:00.000+08:00

bro you want sexy song? i recommend you sexy song. = )

Nine Inch Nails - Closer

You let me violate you, you let me desecrate you
You let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you
Help me I broke apart my insides, help me I've got no
Soul to tell
Help me the only thing that works for me, help me get
Away from myself

I want to fuck you like an animal
I want to feel you from the inside
I want to fuck you like an animal
My whole existence is flawed
You get me closer to God

Help me tear down my reason, help me its your sex i
Can smell
Help me you make me perfect, help me become somebody
Else

I want to fuck you like an animal
I want to feel you from the inside
I want to fuck you like an animal
My whole existence is flawed
You get me closer to God

POST: two can play this game

2007-04-26T01:06:00.000+08:00

a simple phone call can make my day...
and make me realise how much i miss you.

it's funny as humans how you want this and that, demand for all your whatnots, chase your dreams and aspire to be whomsoever pleases you.

but the simplest things in life can brighten up your day.. and turn a mundane wednesday into a brilliant one.

anticipating... may was it?

POST: hype

2007-04-24T01:52:00.000+08:00

auditions auditions auditions.

BEN & JERRY'S HERE I COME!

POST: loving someone is hating yourself

2007-04-24T01:50:00.000+08:00

loving someone...
is hating yourself.

- Sammybear 24/04/07

but for you it's worth it = )

POST: Decembers lyrics

2007-04-21T02:32:00.000+08:00

I miss you so much, a self inflicted coma
The days drag on like marathons,
I'm running with barefeet.
And when I feel the stress, I'm lonely and depressed
I picture you in the dress
You wore four weeks ago.

music is an escape. different songs for different times depicting different emotions.

POST: bulletproof... i wish i was

2007-04-19T20:31:00.000+08:00

this is how you really make me feel.. made me want to be.

Limb by limb and tooth by tooth
Tearing up inside of me
Every day every hour
I wish that I was bullet proof

Wax me
Mould me
Heat the pins and stab them in
You have turned me into this
Just wish that it was bullet proof

So pay the money and take a shot
Leadfill the hole in me
I could burst a million bubbles
All surrogate and bullet proof

POST: while you were asleep...

2007-04-18T22:11:00.000+08:00

blogging not from the comforts of my own home - but in comfort

wondering why some songs are always so special to you heart - sad songs

relishing the fact that an insomniac managed to coax another to sleep - irony

finding out that the most subtle things in the form of thought, word and deed can generate the most favourable responses - coming of age

been too busy to come on msn, much less blog. my life's going through a myriad of significant changes now. and you are part of it. = )

POST: DECEMBERS

2007-04-08T22:04:00.000+08:00

as mysterious as the da vinci code,

THANK YOU FOR THE DECEMBERS

you know who you are = )

POST: tribute to the best band on earth

2007-04-02T01:39:00.000+08:00

i love you and i thank God for you. i live every second of every day now thinking how blessed and lucky i am to have you.

everything about you is what i wanna be. that's bliss.

Penny and i spend so much time together now that i've graduated and am working, awaiting impending doom in the form of NS. but she's more than just a bass guitar for me. she is me personified in the form of an instrument. you really realise how close you are to your bass when you realise that you are watching soccer and fretting it subconsciously. and that every moment you're apart from it, you think about the fun you're gonna have with it once you reach home.

it feels like puppy love all over again. blind, unconditional, innocent and genuine. it's a second virginity for me = P

and i recall the last jamming session with Lucid Dream. where we had 2 different groups of close to ten folks packed outside the studio trying to catch the glimpse of the band conjuring such a sonic wall of sound. and the shocked reaction one of them had when they realised there was only 3 members in the band. it's an honor for the band foremost, and for me....

and i think it all boils down to the techniques i use in that circumstance. specifically the bass fret-tapping i improvised because the band lacked a keyboardist and subsequent synthesizer. it's really easy to do, and so fucking showy i feel guilty displaying it.

of course, a normal bass cannot project that quality. only my Penny can.

and the way they expressed their appreciation in the form of gasps and oh-my-gods when we stepped out. it's funny how i've always clamoured for adulation, but shy away completely when i'm supposed to bask in it. sim implied that since i've impressed malays, there must be a certain degree of skill i must possess. i'm just shy.

cos i'm nothing without the band.

in Lucid Dream, showmanship is not a commodity; it's a prerequisite. we live to entertain. we live for the stage.

POST: poem in parts 2

2007-03-31T04:20:00.000+08:00

part 2:

a gentle smile, a fleeting glance a catch and a release.
a thousand miles, a second chance, do whatever you please.

POST: poem in parts 1

2007-03-30T04:16:00.000+08:00

part 1:

you waltzed back in my life. what a glorious refrain,
to say the words that'd kill you, but make you whole again.

POST: haste makes waste

2007-03-27T00:38:00.000+08:00

Haste makes waste

much as i know about its definition as is the most appropriate way to apply this statement, i finally have to admit that it has caught up with me.

and nothing makes more sense than the subject of love.

sound the alarms, blare the trumpets, scream and shout, play the eagle-eyed cherry song for the umpteenth time. there's no denying it's a good feeling for me. cos i feel like sec 3 all over again.

my current outlook on life is largely detrimental to any chances of emotional growth. i'm still riding on the 21st birthday maturity boom. drive, desire and the innate need to 'make it' coarse through my veins as i attempt to establish something concrete and profit churning before i begin my PES C1L9 stint in NS.

but i have to stop and think. what do i want all this success for when i do attain it? will i really enjoy it alone? all by myself?

and then the answer instanteneously becomes crystal clear. or rather the question. "with whom do i share it with". lest i confuse you, i'm not talking about marriage for crying out loud. a girlfriend. duh.

so i've decided to put aside my mantra, my discipline, my code of conduct, and simply let nature take its course. solely regarding this matter. cos you cant procrastinate when it comes to making money haha. and conversely, you cant hurry love. you simply just have to wait.

so i'd wait.

POST: DCM

2007-03-21T02:02:00.000+08:00

Sometimes i think i do things just to spite other people, or myself for that matter. and all these activities occur outside my conscious mind. it also involves doing the exact opposite to what other people wish you to do.

one of the not so latest things i've done is to cut my super-duper-ultra-uber long hair (by my standards) to super-duper-ultra-uber short hair (by shan's standards). which is actually quite short. and this is by no means extraordinary, except that i cut it 1 day after i finished my polytechnic semestral exams. at the advise of 350984360945437 teachers that i might get debarred or not be permitted to take the papers because of improper hairstyle, i stuck with it.
in a grandiose show of lunacy, i shaved it 1 day later.

and the incessant stupidity continued when i finally decided to kick my biggest vice. yes that is after 350984360945437 X 3 of my schoolmates/classmates/close friends advised me to kick it. and kick i did, when it dont matter any more that is. well it's been 9 days counting, but i'm sticking through it cos i'm pitting my body against my mind. 1 hates the other; it's inate.

this nonsensical habit is inside me and has been dormant for quite a while now. but undoubtedly, it has been incited by a very special someone. thanks yo.

which brings me to my subject matter. this paranormal activity, lest it already has a valid term (!) shall be labelled aptly the...

Delibrate Contradiction Movement.

the DCM is absurdly self-gratifying as it is mortifying to the public. which just adds up together in my case. me and my sadistic self. it creates a holistic experience to fuel my morbid persona.

besides, it is now anybody's guess whether i would do things according to what people deem 'normal procedure' and give out favours i normally would. if i decide to wage war that is. unpredictability is the spice of life.

and let me tell you, it could liberalise you. lest you brand it as a cheap thrill. do not dismiss my notion, no not yet.

one of my mantra's has always been 'life is what you make of it'. similarly, your DCM can be what you make of it:

example 1: you could purposely trample the grass patch outside some government building which displays 'NO TRESPASSING' in bold. now that is stupid.

example 2: purposely date a fugly guy/girl who's the polar opposite of your ex whom he/her completely detests. and openly parade him/her in front of above-mentioned ex. c'est magnifique!

and now, don't knock it till you've tried it boys and girls. knowing that you're going against how your mind would normally respond releases the shackles of the mundane and monotonous life you lead, if only for a while. see, i'm beginning to make sense!

now let's make this clear, this blog post does not in any way condone nor encourage any acts of violence or downright impudence. nor does this blog post encourage you to pit yourself against authority (ie mother, girlfriend(s), policemen, teachers). i dont want to go to court as an accessory to crime you bloody scheming slobs.

POST: quirky1

2007-03-20T00:35:00.000+08:00

Mum: Why are you always mumbling to yourself.
Me: There's nobody here who's intelligent enough to engage me in a decent conversation.
Mum: . . .

The father of all hangovers - 09:56 Tuesday 27th February 2007 (taken from Quirkies)

Doctors in Belarus have treated a man who was more than 22 times over the drink driving limit.

Yuri Kherkov, 29, was found unconscious outside a pub in the town of Buda-Koshlevo after drinking the equivalent of five bottles of vodka.

He was taken to hospital where tests revealed he had 1170 mg of alcohol per 100 ml of blood) - more than twice the limit at which doctors say a person would normally die.

A doctor who treated him said: "He was unconscious for two days and when he woke up had a huge headache.

"But the level this man had in him was what we would expect after he had drunk five bottles of vodka, one straight after the other. I am amazed he is still alive and seems to have made a full recovery.

POST: Grades

2007-03-19T00:40:00.000+08:00

i've fought the battle.. and i've beaten the system.

well to a certain extent. and check out these abysmal grades. it's the testimonial of my entire poly life. a few ups peppered with plenty of downs. and it's for all to see.

it isint half that bad by people's perception of me. and it'd only be deemed a disaster if we all live by sah's standards. but since i'm not in the position to gripe about my 'why i didnt get a distinction but only an A', i've got loads to comment about this here debacle.

i still think that my grades for pubic (sic) relations is horrendously funny. i clearly remember my answers to the question "Define Ethics". Answer: Ethics is the moral majority's perception of righteousness. wtf man. all that studying culminated to me creating my own defination. on hindsight i think it a pretty fitting one. i accept all challenges.

Applied Project was a real cinch. hell the subject matter was my own restaurant *gasp*. yes the secret is out. but so are my grades. so there.

SM was a peach paper. i remembered looking at the notes and quaking in my boots. then i remembered smiling all the way after the paper ended. thanks KA. for the umpteenth time. i would not have graduated without you. and your notes.

but lo and behold. how can i say i graduated with a friggin' Diploma in Customer Relationship Management when i got a bloody D+ on my transcript. That's like saying you're an army Commanding Officer and not knowing the difference between cheebye and nabeh.

i am embarassed. but on another issue altogether, i'm proud that i've kept my deal. and that shan has joined my side for the civil war. 6 days and counting...

POST: or lack of it

2007-03-11T23:42:00.000+08:00

POST: Focus Vegas

2007-02-25T20:45:00.000+08:00

"there’s still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
there’s still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
it’s still a little hard to say what's going on"

been distracted by something, or should i say someone. it's a nice feeling to know that after so long, i'm still in touch with my emotions. i condescend. no matter how rational i try to be, i'm still human.

but i repudiate my statement. having spent so much time breaking out of my crestfallen chrysalis; the taste of sorrow is never far from my tongue.

been busy cramming for my exams. that's why i havent been able to blog. but i'm sure you know that.

but i decided to visit this barren page to seek some solace from the books.

gotta focus. FOCUS. Focus. focus. vocus. vogus. vegas. Vegas. VEGAS!

POST: Fall Out Boy

2007-02-16T23:22:00.000+08:00

guess who's going to Fall Out Boy's only gig in Asia, the 2 hr extravaganza showcasing their new album Infinity On High?

lucky for me cos i dont really know their older albums, save for 'Where is Your Boy'. though i thought this album was really rad and i promoted it to everyone.

even luckier for me cos it's one day after exams. talk about a well-earned break.

POST: V-Day

2007-02-15T02:04:00.000+08:00

now for the great VALENTINE'S DAY

AUTOPSY

i know you've heard it all before. people whining about how it's a grand waste of money. how if you're in love everyday's a special day. but let me tell you something. if you're single and unattached, Valentine's Day heightens your loneliness and makes you acutely aware you NEED the opposite sex.

but for me it's been a lot better. cos on Valentine's Day, it's better to have a void in your heart then to have it smashed and broken into little bits. like not so long ago = (

and better is an understatement! it has been a blast!

╬ i went out with the ever-so lovely Cara and Carrie in the afternoon...

╬ and completed my day with my dearest Ai Qing in the evening...

haha it'll be a cold-day in hell before my wildest dreams come true and all this were to occur, not to mention on the same V-Day! in all honesty, V-Day represented itself as a special day, but for much more different reasons; the last day of school. which is why i had the chance to take pics with all my leading ladies! how i wish everyday was the last day....

as a footnote, it's these gorgeous and effervescent ladies i get to see everyday, that make me conjure up my catchphrase: "stress? what stress?" so it's fundamental you send your children to schools where they have beautiful people. point taken?

this year, Valentine's day came and went. just another wednesday. and i had to work in the evening to boot. pffffft. ah but the tips were another thing = )

and as for school, i discovered i accomplished a rather holistic process. i was late for the first day of school and i was late for the last day of school as well. albeit not a very proud achievement, for i missed all my classes save one. and for that class which i attended, i spent it playing with my newly tuned PSP.

but i effectively turned up to take loads of pictures. the culmination of 3 years of polytechnic life.

worth it. worth it.

and for all my poly-mates out there, i will not compose entries and articles that will bring tears to your eyes as you reflect on days gone by, of the good times and the bad, of the fun times and the joyous occasions. and i'm damn sure you know i can do just that.

but instead i would like you guys to treat this not as an end, but as a new beginning. for today marks the end of our relationship as classmates and poly-mates. we are not bonded by this material label anymore. today, you have all transcended that stage.

as of today, we are officially known as friends.

except for jx. i'd never forgive you.

and always remember that we will meet real soon for this is not like secondary school when you don't know how to balance your emotions and pick your friends. we are all mature and more realistic. in poly, we all have choices and make decisions. so let's decide to meet real soon.

POST: PSP Madness

2007-02-14T01:32:00.000+08:00

FOR PSP ENTHUSIASTS ONLY. (sane folks please don't highlight)

i feel proud of myself...

today i can proudly add PSP Firmware Specialist to my already glittering CV.

a classmate's boyfriend wanted to mod his PSP to be able to do ISOs and CSOs. but the problem is, it's a firmware version 2.60 - highly unpopular and troublesome to mod.

and initially i thought i could get my friends to help out cos i've got no frigging clue how it all added up. but i ended up getting down and dirty. yeah! and learning quite a bit in the process.

but i dont blame them really. maybe they're busy, maybe they're not that familiar with a weird system. or maybe they're not as CRAZY as me.

everytime i downgraded/upgraded the PSP, the overwriting of the system flash had a probability of bricking (crashing the PSP and rendering it useless forever). and downgrade/upgrade i did.. and if that were to happen, i probably had to pay him a brand new set. WTF!! i dont even know his surname. but i'm a crazy sonova........

for it was a firmware 2.6, i had to upgrade it to 2.71. then downgrade it to 1.5. and finally upgrade it to Dark Alex's custom firmware 3.10OE-A. but not before upgrading it as well.

2.6 > 2.71 > 1.5 > 3.10E-A > 3.10E-A'

how many times did i rewrite the flash? i dare not count. i recalled with each boot, my heart was palpitating as i watched the progress percentage: 30%...61%...78% OMG did it stall? 81%...82% move faster bitch!

but at the end of the day it went well. i cant fathom how close i was to becoming a pauper while trying to be a good samaritan. nor could i imagine how stupid and crazy i was.

and i was still sweet enough to make sure his wallpaper stayed the same, and all his preferences, pictures and music was in the right place. not trying to be a nice guy. i'm a dickhead. guess it's about having pride in your work.

whatever the heck, Sammy the PSP Firmware Specialist is NOT at your service. go to a gameshop to get it done instead. about $20 - $50. = )

Anyway i must be a Goddamn pioneer in this whole highlight-no-highlight thingamagig. explain to me once again why i'm not a genius.

copyright sammy.

POST: Dearest V-Day Card

2007-02-12T23:38:00.000+08:00

"My dear the Heart which you behold,

Will break when you the same unfold,

Even so my heart with lovesick pain,

Sure wounded is and breaks in twain."

- Anon (1790)

A Happy Valentine's day to all those blissfully in love! For those who are not celebrating, keep heart; Sammy's single and right down with you! = )

POST: tribute to jimmy

2007-02-10T13:56:00.000+08:00

dearest jimmy.. you'd always be remembered for all the right reasons.

POST: mattress mambo

2007-02-10T10:23:00.000+08:00

i recall a rather abrupt conversation i had with a survey girl on the streets yesterday. it's easy to see why:

Girl: Hi sir may i have a minute of your time?
Sammybear: Go ahead.

G: I'm from XX company and I'm here to conduct a simple survey on purchasing behavior. This would be over very fast.
S: Ok.

G: How may I address you sir?
S: Sammy.

G: Nice to meet you Sammy. I'm Adeline. May I know your occupation?
S: I'm a product tester.

G: Oh. A product tester? Namely what product?
S: I test mattresses for their spring and durability.

G: Mattresses? Am I safe to say it's a desk job? Or can I put you under manufacturing? How do you test it?
S: I have sex on them from 8 to 5.

G: Erm....

and it was all downhill from that point. i get serious kicks really. a cheap thrill perhaps but nothing amuses me more than to break the human psyche and predict emotions. and besides a well crafted prank is. as i always say. priceless.

POST: projects.. the final frontier

2007-02-09T00:30:00.000+08:00

as i peer over the cliff
i finally see
that the war is nearing its end
and i am infringing on
the final frontiers
of projectwork

cut the crap. i'm almost not going to be busy. but as carrie told me today, it's the last lap. so let that be.

anyway i'm too busy to blog. for my next post.. i'm gonna talk about what superhero i want to be..

POST: Academia Dementia

2007-02-07T23:56:00.000+08:00

getting up in the morning
is like a battle for supremacy between your body and your mind

if you know what i mean. snooze, you lose.

still i managed the unthinkable. waking up at 7 am and only snoozing for 5 minutes before i made it for 8am class on time. of course my consolation was that this is one of the last few times i wake up at ungodly hours for academic purposes.

there is a term i coined for all students out there. in primary, varsity, whateverthefuck. it's called

dementia academia

–noun

Definition: the severe impairment or loss of intellectual capacity and personality integration, due to interests of a university, college, or academy

some examples of such ruthless acts executed or influenced by representatives of so-called 'education' are:

Waking up at inhumane times such as 6am.
Intense mental torture caused by sitting for exams.
Anxiety attacks for those who don't prepare for above-mentioned exams. e.g me.
Psychological trauma when receiving grades for above-mentioned exams. coincidentally me again.
Delirium when trying to meet project deadlines.
Suicidal tendencies when project deadline is discovered to be the next day.
Physical duress when confined to classroom for entire day. Only happens if you're below varsity.
Claustrophobia due to having only toilet cubicles to smoke in discreet. DEFINATELY NOT ME = )
Bloodlust if your classmate is me.

and it wouldnt surprise you that that is just the tip of the iceberg. buuuuuuuuuuut i won't wish to receive a letter from the Ministry of Education to shut my dear blog down. so i shall leave my comments to myself.

which leads me to my ending statement and thought of the day:

Stress is just a state of mind.

POST: For Martha

2007-02-07T01:21:00.001+08:00

Sometimes in life,
you get so caught up in your pursuit of what you determine is right
that you neglect the more important things around you.
What price would you pay to make a point?
Know that I would rather die a failure
then forsake all those around me.
Because I know i bring to my grave
not plaques of my achievements.
But flowers of condolence and tears of thanks
from lives that i've touched with my two bare hands.

-The Reflecting Bear

POST: TEST

2007-02-07T00:33:00.000+08:00

I've been busy. Really busy...

you know it's kinda funny. how i thought i had 4 projects, but they never seem to be completed. and the the 4 snowballed into 5. then 6, 7. until i realised that EVERY FUCKING MODULE HAS PROJECTS THAT NEED TO BE DONE. but then again, hey. no stress.

speaking of stress, i remember how i got up extra early (6.30 am YO!) to do 2 parts for my international business project, but the 2 parts suddenly became 4 parts. and my one and a half hour became one hour after lazing around and a longer-than-usual smoke break. i was so piss-late i had to take a cab to school. mother-expensive. never again.

and for de-stress! what better way then epicurean delicacies? i had:

Shirako (白子)

it goes fantastically well with sake. decadence. bliss.

another hint? it's in season now.

know why i love cod? because every single part of it tastes wicked. yes even cod sperm.

YES COD SPERM.

and i had something less visually obtrusive. something that actually goes well with a staple.

Ika Sumiso

Boiled squid served with...

with...

erm...

Sumiso paste.

yummy.

like wtf you expect me to explain what that is?

it's just good. and it's therapeutic. most impt
thing is it's free.

ahhhh. it pays to be an Izakaya owner's son.

POST: Happy Birthday

2007-02-01T00:31:00.000+08:00

a complete coincidence..

turned into an unexpected meeting...

which led to an unexpected accompaniment..

which resulted in an unexpected movie..

which comprised of an unexpected choice of film..

which surprisingly had an unexpected ending..

which conclusively was an unexpected complete delight!

thanks mich for the movie treat. it was fanfuckingtastic and i didnt know how much i needed it till it was over.

dear ladies and gentlemen.. i advocate like i've never recommended anything before in my entire life. if you like great cinematography, enjoy intriguing storylines, appreciate compelling acting, revel in incredible on-screen chemistry and LOVE LOVE stories, Jingle Ma's 2007 cult-classic-in-the-making 'Happy Birthday' is the direction you're heading to.

hurry up, grab somebody from the opposite sex save your relatives and get going!

some MORE reasons:

the camera shots were mind-blowing
the chronological order was a delightful mish-mash
the story-line was interesting thru and thru
the ending was so sad, i teared (thank God she didn't see)
the chemistry between Louis Koo and Rene Liu was insane

but honestly speaking, even if you thought it sucked i wouldnt care. just cos I LOVE IT. = )

ZOMG did i forget to mention it was in MANDARIN?!

POST: The Great Prata Adventure

2007-01-29T22:34:00.000+08:00

Scenes from a Prata Shoppe...

"Just as there are two faces on a coin, you can always look at things from different points of view"
- KK

For you who are so far away from home... This is just so you know that some things will never change.

POST: feeble minds

2007-01-28T23:39:00.000+08:00

today my father launched a scathing verbal attack at me.. right in front of my siblings.

and it hurt like a lot. and my natural instincts kicked in when i felt an immense urge to insult/hurt/retaliate.

but i controlled my temper and headed into my room... and subsequently did the strangest but most natural thing i felt like doing.

i reached and felt for my heartbeat - racing. it felt rather strange and surreal to be doing that.. but at that moment it felt right to do what i did.

and then a voice entered my head.. "see how fast your pulse races when you get angry?"

and as i contemplated on why strong emotions would cause that effect, my heartbeat gradually slowed to normality and i didnt feel so angry anymore.

in another stab at spirituality, i accidentally hyperlinked myself to 'the passion' on wikipedia (i seriously dont know) and came across articles on the crucifixion and pontius pilate which i thought was a rather swank name.

in any case i feel that the rationality of an argument will only kick in once the emotions are not given free reign. and the only point your good sense of mind will come to you is when you wait. for a little while. at which point when rationality kicks in, an argument might come across as ridiculous and redundant.

the strong and the weak minded is defined by those who wait and those who do not.

and it doesnt hurt that i went to church today!

POST: obama dreams

2007-01-28T18:45:00.000+08:00

A Toner for the Face
is like a Tuner for the Bass
You need it for good tone.

all this talk about about project madness is driving me up the wall. it's really just what it is. all talk and hype. 5 projects due in all. spread out in 2 weeks of madness. 1 presentation due tomorrow. another due before 2.30pm. what does that all mean to me? all numbers.

not that i'm saying i'm a genius and all. but how difficult can it get when the drive gets you? (not really that much can be achieved of course without KA ^_^) but still i got better things to do like play bass or daydream.

which brings me to last night. i dreamt of....

my ex girlfriend
las vegas
a bass solo that wowed the world.

and get this...

SENATOR BARACK OBAMA!!!

<--- WHY OH WHY?!?!?!?!

WHAT-THE-FUCK!!!

on hindsight you want to call up his offices at Illinois and tell him his bloody campaign is working fine alright for managing to creep into my innocent dreams. what with all the sub-conscious mental conditioning.

and i told sah today i feel it my patriotic right to vote for my president. i'm pass the legal age so it's time to exercise my rights.

now i'm going back to my projects. all that talk about a waste of time. no choice la what to do?

= (

POST: Fart of War

2007-01-25T23:09:00.000+08:00

"it is not a catastrophe if you have weaknesses.
but it would be your destruction if your enemies locate it before you."

-Xiong Mao (Chin Chong Bear)
Great Military Philosopher

POST: Today's Gig

2007-01-25T22:56:00.000+08:00

today's gig was magnifique!

the sound crew totally rocked my socks off.

though the vocals were into mother-echo mode. and the bass was too trebleish. it was really good.

and the crowd, passive they may be (expected) went ballistic when we broke into Muse's Hysteria. and of course Jun's soaring falsettos.

Lucid Dream's first decent set i should say. though it is an aweful long time coming. but not too bad considering we've only got a complete band 2 months ago.

much, if not all thanks must go to the very very supportive lecturer backing us up all the way, Miss Wileeza.. and of course to ALL OUR FANS! without you we're nothing!

but ultimately, it is a great temporary grand-closure to our man- gigs-month. as the final semestrals draw near, the band must shift its focus. but of course the jams will continue.

we're definately gonna add to our collection of originals. 2 complete, 2 very close to completion. to compile our EP. peachy.

in the meantime, all my NYP mates concentrate on your ICAs ok? graduation is looming and you know you dont wanna stay too long here... haha.

comments so far (too lazy to put much):

very hot
fantastic
good

so far so good...

POST: Broken Clock

2007-01-24T23:00:00.000+08:00

i pondered deep and hard today and realised that...

even a broken clock that does not tick

tells the time right TWICE a day

and that made me come to terms that even for a person who feels totally hopeless. useless. worthless. down to his last.

he can still shine at one thing in his life. and that one thing he would be so darn good at nobody in the world can ever take his place.

be it in the field of science, field of art. working as a clerk, working as a postman. checking drainage pipes for chokes, dissecting kingfishers in record time. flying, tiptoeing on his last two toes.

something only he can do and that outshines every single human on earth.

and doing that thing gives us immense pride. it gives us the drive, the impetus, the push.

because deep down inside, we want to feel we are special. and indeed we are. we are all unique.

so no matter what you do in life, know that there is at least one thing in life you can do better than anybody else. just as the broken clock tells correct time twice, every dog has its day.

The question is have you found YOUR special ability?

- this community message has been brought to you by sammybear

POST: Testes

2007-01-23T20:50:00.000+08:00

2 tests + 4 projects due this 2 weeks = no time to blog.

at least until the day after tmr.

and my weekends are gone too. sorry shan, sim.

but thank God i've got renewed fervor to study...

simply cos i do not want to delay my graduation.

cos i've got a date with somebody somewhere else in the world.

and i dont wanna be late ; )

POST: beetles

2007-01-23T00:04:00.000+08:00

When a beetle passes me by...
I think of you i just don't know why.

POST: date with the cmpb

2007-01-22T23:49:00.000+08:00

Applause Applause! No wait wait... Dear studio audience i've an announcement to make....

i've finally gone down to CMPB to do my med check-up! now how cool is that.

i remember how i missed the first date cos i went to bintan with the band.. and didnt even inform them..

i feel bad.. mmm actually i'm mortified.

anyway they called me again to reschedule it for friday, 19th of January which i duly.........

MISSED. Again. I overslept. Come on who wakes up at 6am anyway?!

so for all that i'm worth i dragged my ass down for a later appointment. and they were more than happy to see me! = )

and so i went throught the regular thingamagic. up till the second last station, i was PES A (physical employment status). and that meant i'm a fit and healthy bear.

then the last station. when he interviewed me, i told him my physical condition to the best of my knowledge.

and then something bad happened.

something really, really bad...

i was demoted to PES C1L9 which meant that i was not even able to hold a rifle. *sob*

which brings me to the latter part of my blog. i wish to congratulate CMPB on their consistency and high quality of their medical check-ups. they have managed to spot an injury that has eluded even me. this injury would seriously jeopardise me as an infantry when i enlist and begin my service to the Republic of Singapore. the nation which i have come to love and adore. now that i am diagnosed with this grievous injury, i am undoubtedly deeply saddened. however, i feel it to be my patriotic right to give my best in clerical duties and protect this nation i call home.

POST: History 1

2007-01-19T00:23:00.000+08:00

my schoolmates are all after my ass for projects...

and then there's:

medical check-up
Lucid Dream GM
Work
Jon's little get-together
extended techniques bass prac for next week's gig

to contemplate.

so... let me leave you with something i fished out from my documents folder. it's dated quite a while back but i removed it from my blog for fear my supervisor (i blogged it when i was having attachment) might chance upon it if she cookied or keylogged or whatever hacker shit.

enjoy a day in Bear's History.

"hello hi its approximately 5.15pm now. just one friggin' more hour to go before i knock off the week and embark on some self-gratifying TGIF! ok maybe not that big a deal cos i got to go back to work. nevertheless it is some welcome reprieve considering i've been doing 2 jobs for the past 3 weeks already. grrr.

so what have i learnt from IPP thus far.. mmm.
-i've improved my chinese immensely due to all the YES 9.33fm (the only workstation in the whole office with a working radio! praise technology.)

-developed an extra keen sense of hearing so i can differentiate between my supervisor (high thrreat), civilians as well as rabbits footsteps. this is extremely crucial because my back is facing the walkway so anybody can walk by and take a peek. nosey parker.

-perfected the art of Typewriting. that is typing and not being able to see what you type cos you have to minimise the screen till its as small as an ant's penis. this skill is extremely difficult to learn as you gotta have great sense. but i've matserde it of coruse.

-Develop a voracious appetite. or at least become a master storyteller so you can satisfy your boss when she asks how you manage to eat a 1.5 hours lunch.

-sleep in all environments. eg toilet. a 20 min nap at strategic times (half an hour after lunch) works wonders in sustaining you. it helps too if your toilet has air con, auto light switch-off powersaving mode and no more than 5 males on the same floor. now we just need a comforter, pillow and two hot schoolgirl twins.....

but honestly you think people really put in 8 hours of pure work? wouldnt you feel unbalanced too if you've got to slug your guts out for a pittance? life's all about taking risks and seizing the day. knowing when to prioritise and focus your energies saves you lot more time and gets you more recognition as well. my knowledge of this art is so in-depth, i managed to survive on tips in a JAPANESE RESTAURANT for 1 month. hell i think they would rather roll cigarettes with their notes then tip you. nah its just not in their culture to tip. ho-hum.

tonight's gonna be another night of drunken-lovin' if my memory serves me right. yesterday was a ball though. sitting on top of a multi-storey carpark with jeremy with a bottle of premium shochu in tow. chatting about stocks, liars, love gone wrong and grand theft. ah the wonders of alcohol. poetically, the shouchu sums up our friendship. something that tastes so damn good has to be aged for a long time. and the fact that yam was used in the distilling proves that weird mixes do result in fantastic and unexpected results. of course it doesnt happen everyday. dont even get me started on the alcohol bit.

urhh. too much to say. too lazy to say it. hope i have a good jamming session tmr. ciao."

POST: What do you want?

2007-01-18T00:56:00.000+08:00

alright alright let's do something cool.

today i witnessed so many of my friends, how they stayed behind to watch us perform even though the sound sucks! my effects were not in place and the crowd already left.

that's true courage.

and you guys have my utmost respect. i know that you have never missed any of my shows. and i know how much you guys support me. i totally respect you guys. i don't want to name you cos if i miss out any i'd be devastated. so there.

but back to where i was, let's try something new.

on the 25th, 26th and 27th, there's gonna be NYP Open House. and since we've not decided on a setlist yet, TELL US WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR!

give us requests. if it's do-able, it shall be done. as a small gratitude to the best friends anybody could get.

how's that sound?

Criterias:

Upbeat
A little fast
No vulgarities = (
Recognizable
No POP!!!

and then that's it. leave a message on the tag. post a comment maybe? heck give me a call. = )

peace and until then...

POST: the gig

2007-01-17T17:48:00.000+08:00

well today's gig was...

disappointing if i wanted to be kind.

amp mic-up - speaks for itself
vocal mics - abysmal

no opportunity to soundcheck.

no opportunity to fine-tune.

playing through a PA system? WTF?!

but i had loads of fun.

and the future looks oh so rosy.

lucky lucky. you're so lucky!

POST: The MUSE

2007-01-16T23:54:00.000+08:00

MUSE was. in·de·scrib·a·ble.

no words could do justice. no superlatives can befit them.

to all those who missed it.. i'm so so sorry.

they're so good, i've got my best friend to get me tickets for their concert on the 25th of february in KL.

now that's something.

and i'd like to blog more but i hope you guys can just be understanding and let me sit back and revel in this moment that is MUSE.

"i wouldn't call it a blast. i mean what's a blast? it's more like a cumshot in the face!" - Sammy to James

SONG: KT Tunstall - Other Side Of The World

2007-01-16T06:30:00.000+08:00

to you who are so far away
you are badly missed
the words you spoke still ring true in my ear
and your presence lingers on within me
time may be a cruel thief of passion
but faith is a good judge of love
so while life moves us along
as we embrace another day
never stop believing
so the magic will always stay

- an insipid sammy.

and while i'm at it, there's a song i can't seemt to shake off. since i'm a firm believer in serendipity, it's no wonder i heard it only recently; in a lan shop no less.

the words dont necessary represent my feelings. but the mood summarises my intentions.

KT Tunstall - Other Side of The World (you may click on it)

Over the sea and far away
She's waiting like an Iceberg
Waiting to change,
But she's cold inside
She wants to be like
the water,

All the muscles tighten in her face
Buries her soul in one embrace
They're one and the same
Just like water

Then the fire fades away
But most of everyday
Is full of tired excuses
But it's too hard to say
I wish it were simple
But we give up easily
You're close enough to see that
You're.... the other side of the world
to me

On comes the panic light
Holding on with fingers
and feelings alike
But the time has come
To move along

Then the fire fades away
But most of everyday
Is full of tired excuses
But it's too hard to say
I wish it were simple
But we give up easily
You're close enough to see that
You're.... the other side of the world

Can you help me?
Can you let me go
And can you still love me
When you can't see me anymore

Then the fire fades away
most of everyday
Is full of tired excuses
But it's too hard to say
I wish it were simple
But we give up easily
You're close enough to see that
You're.... the other side of the world
Ohh.... the other side of the world
You're.... the other side of the world
To me.

POST: music

2007-01-16T05:30:00.000+08:00

if music were my religion
then rock would be my church
the bible; my bass

viva Lucid Dream

POST: Grace's Letter

2007-01-15T23:10:00.000+08:00

Grace wrote me a letter to accompany my overdue christmas present:

POST: hate this

2007-01-15T00:13:00.000+08:00

i have a plan...

which i told shan about already. i want to go to the states before i enlist.

yes the states.

kind of tired with people asking me when the last time i was back there. how things are going over there. when i'm going back.

besides i was born there now right. so it would be like the salmon swimming through the sea and back into the river where it was born in. tracing the route of its ancestors through scents and natural markers. but i'm not going there to lay eggs you depraved lunatic.

and i know it's going to be easy. cos my biological father still resides in cali (i think) and i'm sure he'd jump at the chance to mail me tickets. so this post acts as a reminder for me to carpe diem! i'm such a lazy asshole you'd be surprised.

it'll be bliss. cali.. vegas.. mexico? possbilities endless. heck i want to go to newport beach too. better set aside one month and loads of cash.

which brings me to my next point..

I'M FINALLY GOING TO GRADUATE!!!

and i can hardly wait. i've got my jobs lined up for me already. and my budgeting all planned out. sorry all my schoolmates out there who harbor so much good memories in NYP and shit. i love the school yes. i love the life and all of you. but i'm not the study type! and i cant wait to leave the education circuit.

i have to live my life the way i want to. away from shelter and protection. i want to buy my:

1. Agnes B watch
2. A new wardrobe
3. A new life
4. My own apartment (maybe rent cos it's more feasible)

maybe it's cos i've got my future sorted out already. that's why i'm so cocksure. ah well it's my life.

ah well life's all about planning. good planning and bad planning.

make sure yours is the former.

POST: bon voyage

2007-01-14T23:24:00.000+08:00

bon voyage..

this departure is not a separation
but merely a preparation
for better things to come.

POST: one day till she leaves...

2007-01-13T00:28:00.000+08:00

regarding the rain, i've got a little mantra:

if my socks still rock, my mood is good.
if my socks get wet, my mood is dead.

that's why i get agitated when i get drenched. or maybe that's just an excuse to be a whiny little bitch.

either way...

i talked to D today about social activities. and that in a way relates to 'being cool', 'cool', 'acting cool', 'what defines cool' and part thereof. you get the drift.

i conclude that just as you wouldn't judge a dog's fur to be beautiful or a dog to be pretty, you don't judge people by the way they dress and conduct themselves.

why?

simply because dogs have millions of breeds. and each one has different fur characteristics and mannerisms.

duh. you knew that already didnt you? so why the hell should people be judged differently when there are quintillions of combinations and types of character?

what you define as cool may be disgusting to other individuals. what you define as stylish may be shambolic to another.

a person is not defined by the amount of friends he has or whether he be stylish. a person is not defined by the social activities he may choose to indulge in. true style comes from within and is what one is comfortable in.

i dont know what it is for girls but for guys, you are defined by the size of your television and your car.

that being said, there's still no excuse for dressing badly. = )

so thanks for your 3 minutes and may you take another 2 to reflect on whether you are living up to your own definition of cool. whatever it is in life, you should never let yourself down.

just think about it.

POST: good advise

2007-01-12T13:08:00.000+08:00

yesterday is the day i found out...

that i have to stick a label on everything. i will not be satisfied until i do. every question must have an answer. every object must have a name. everything must satisfy my curiosity.

EVERYTHING MUST GO MY WAY.

and that translates me to be extremely anal-retentive. which i know is a bad thing but i wonder if it could ever morph into something else. like a mantra for getting rich.

it's nice to be able to say "be anal-retentive." i mean cut the "be hardworking", "set targets for yourself", "sleep with your boss's mother" bullshit advises. done and dusted. break the mold please.

i've reached this age where i'm defining quality companionship as reality checks. where people tell me my faults. my problems. right in my face. i like it. i know i'm perfect. but my pretense-flaws musn't be too irritating.

and i believe that people only correct you cos they care. and i'm blessed with friends who do. not many. but enough to last my lifetime.

so all you cheapskates out there. your advise better be fucking good if you intend to scrimp on my birthday present. = )

1. thank you grace for lending the drumset.
2. LOADS of pictures coming out soon in the event that i do receive them.

ANNOUNCEMENTS: GIG2

2007-01-12T13:05:00.000+08:00

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

Lucid Dream Has Another Gig - 17th Jan 07. We are performing a set for SBM day and closing the whole ceremony as well.

ANNOUNCEMENT: Lucid Dream

2007-01-10T15:22:00.000+08:00

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

Warren Miller has a show
Lucid Dream Has A Gig - 25th, 26th, 27th January 07, NYP Centrestage

POST: PLEASE WORK!

2007-01-10T15:18:00.000+08:00

Why do i always fail tests? cos i daydream. a lot.

it's funny how people want to listen to my random quips and balderdashery considering i never thought i had anything interesting to say. well that's that.

people being people.

i'm resigned to the fact that i'm not the study-type. finally after 21 years in my life. and i found that out yesterday.

let's see what else i've found out the past few days:

08/01 - i only remember things i have an emotional attachment to.
09/01 - true courage isin't bullshit like facing your demons, winning battles. it is about MOVING ON.

and that it took somebody pint-sized to teach me that. ah well it supports my favourite quote. "you learn something new everyday".

who's to say whether i will carry on blogging as from today? i don't owe anybody anything. period. so there. i blogged.

but the most important thing is. have you learnt anything today?

SONG: SEIZE THE DAY

2006-09-26T11:38:00.000+08:00

Seize The Day

Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over

I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time
But I'm too young to worry
These streets we traveled on will undergo our same lost past

I found you here, now please just stay for a while
I can move on with you around
I hand you my mortal life, but will it be forever?
I'd do anything for a smile, holding you 'til our time is done
We both know the day will come, but I don't want to leave you

I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time
But I'm too young to worry
(a melody, a memory, or just one picture)

Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over

Newborn life replacing all of us, changing this fable we live in
No longer needed here so where do we go?
Will you take a journey tonight, follow me past the walls of death?
But girl, what if there is no eternal life?

I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time
But I'm too young to worry
(a melody, a memory, or just one picture)

Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over
Trials in life, questions of us existing here
Don't wanna die alone without you here
Please tell me what we have is real

So what if I never hold you, yeah, or kiss your lips again?
So I never want to leave you and the memories of us to see
I beg don't leave me

Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over
Trials in life, questions of us existing here
Don't wanna die alone without you here
Please tell me what we have is real

(Silence, you lost me-- no chance for one more day)
(Silence, you lost me-- no chance for one more day)
I stand here alone
Falling away from you, no chance to get back home

(Silence, you lost me-- no chance for one more day)
(Silence, you lost me-- no chance for one more day)
I stand here alone
Falling away from you, no chance to get back home

SONGS: Yan Di Xing Kong

2006-09-22T17:49:00.000+08:00

yesterday i put my ipod on shuffle. and it played me Jay Chou's Jie Kou. what a friggin sad song. after that song, it randomed me to Jolin Tsai's Ma De Li Bu Si Yi. which proves that life's all about both spectrums of emotions. and nobody deserves to suffer so much. so here's a song i really like now and recommend. chinese song recommended by Sammy?! go figure.

你好喜欢看我眼睛
你说是宇宙的缩影
只要没有分离
天气晴能看见星星
我努力爱你宠你调整自己
我是邻居还是伴侣
时间带来残忍结局
在爱情的隔壁住友情
界线太锐利
对不起就一刀切开所有亲密

Chorus:
眼底星空
流星开始坠落
每一滴眼泪说着你要好好
走转过身跌入黑洞
看着天长地久变两种漂泊
男人流泪比流血加倍心痛

眼底星空
流星跌落手中
我静静握着抬头向上天祈求
愿你先找到温柔
有人包扎伤口也挡住寂寞
谢谢你陪我陪爱听雨吹风

用三年去维系感情
用三秒钟结束关系
剩回忆能回去能温习能把你抱紧
就算爱烧成灰烬扬起变乌云

眼底星空
流星开始坠落
每一滴眼泪说着你要好好走
转过身跌入黑洞
看着天长地久变两种漂泊
男人流泪比流血加倍心痛

眼底星空
流星跌落手中
我静静握着抬头向上天祈求
愿你先找到温柔
有人包扎伤口也挡住寂寞

谢谢你陪我陪爱听雨吹风
谢谢他给你给爱另一个星空

SPECIAL: Adage du Fromage

2006-09-21T17:22:00.000+08:00

Adage du Fromage

I ponder as I wonder
"A penny for your thoughts?"
If I get paid for thinking
I'll be richer by a lot

"I beg to differ."
To what would that refer?
If kneeling changes feelings
why on earth should we confer?

- Sammy

SONG: Brian McKnight - 6, 8, 12

2006-09-21T09:20:00.000+08:00

Brian McKnight - 6, 8, 12

Do you ever think about me?
Do you ever cry yourself to sleep?
In the middle of the night when you're awake, Are you calling out for me?
Do you ever reminisce?
I can't believe I'm acting like this
I know it's crazy
How I still can feel your kiss

It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better but it's just not the case
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away

Do you ever ask about me?
Do your friends still tell you what to do?
Every time the phone rings, Do you wish it was me calling you?
Do you still feel the same?
Or has time put out the flame?
I miss you
Is everything okay?

It's hard enough just passing the time
When I can't seem to get you off my mind
And where is the good in goodbye?
Tell me why, tell me why

POST: not again.

2006-04-23T05:06:00.000+08:00

5.04 am. 23rd of april.

listening to damien rice's cannonball. crying my eyes out. again. i promised myself never again. but then again whats a promise. they are meant to be broken.

jeremy you think you're bipolar? i see me reflected in your eyes.

why can't my mind control what my heart wants to feel. i've never felt so in control for a long time. but why . why not?

i've grown stronger. wiser. but then again there are some things in life you just cant strengthen.

how long does it take to forget someone? 1 week? 2 months? 3 years? never? sometimes you think that you do. but your mind can be your greatest enemy. i wish i were you. so easy for you. i need laguna inc. now.

this song. i finally understand what it means.

POST: ah-re?! another boring day?

2006-03-17T01:18:00.000+08:00

today like yesterday is so fucking boring. watching nails grow and paint dry is like las vegas to me. i went to school, eat with tiff, slack in com lab, eat with ka and gang, sleep at com lab, eat with seng kang, did a bit of group work, slacked at com lab and signed off. my belly's growing bigger and that is attributed by that dastardly thing called TEP. i feel really bad posting boring stuff so i wrote 3 reviews. hope you enjoy them.

and i didnt manage to make my wallpaper by stipulated time = ( sorry.
tomorrow i dont have to work so i can go flashing!
waiting list for asking me out in the weekend is hereby rolled out. be quick or be disappointed = P

ALBUM REVIEW: Bullet For My Valentine - The Poison

2006-03-17T00:49:00.000+08:00

The name Bullet For My Valentine makes me think back on the blue roses on Feb 14. Damn I sure as hell wish I had given her bullets instead. Har har har very funny but I'm not kidding. Anyways THIS ALBUM JUST BLOWS MY MIND! I was never a fan of screamo but BFMV walks the thin line between plain irritating and Acheleons of Coolness. And they are just so fucking awesome.

I can't really understand why people diss this album so much. I mean obviously they haven't heard "Suffocating Under Words Of Sorrow (What Can I Do)" yet. The riffs on that song just makes me want to jack a car GTA style and race off. "All These Things I Hate (What Can I Do)" is a worthy first single as it shows this band's ability to seamlessly switch between acoustic and heavy metal. But the true magic of this album is the powerhouse tracks that are scattered all over. What technical ability. What a breath of fresh air. This is definately a good album to break people into the genre of emocore and screamo. Delicately balanced and expertly executed.

ALBUM REVIEW: Audioslave - Out of Exile

2006-03-17T00:35:00.000+08:00

The best album I've heard this year, ironically is not in any way at all underground but totally mainstream. Here's a good piece of modern pop/rock culture- Audioslave's Out of Exile. The ex Rage Against the Machine outfit has has upped the ante and brought their own musical talents up a couple of notches. And what that results in is an album that not only satisfies ardent fans but also attract new listeners.

This is what band maturity should be all about. Not deviating too much from what made them famous in the first place, but redefining themselves and polishing up their skills. Yes true, in this fickle minded music industry change is inevitable. But changing slowly is way better than destroying your roots. Don't shock your fans too much. They may be loyal but their ears will still bleed if the music sucks.

Audioslave seems to know what its fans like. Quirky guitar solos, tormented vocals and catchy bass lines. So they took all these elements and perfected them. Every track, I can tell you is standard. Verse, chorus, verse, solo, chorus, ending. But hell what makes them so good is that they can take the mundane and predictable and still make is sound so fanfuckingtastic. Each solo is painstakingly technical and all the riffs differ so much. Never the same. That's why it's been stuck in my pod for the past 2 weeks.

I dare say the first track of every album is one of the most important as it sets the tempo for the rest of the piece and it signals the message the band is trying to send to you. And Audioslave riproars with one of the best tracks from the album, Your Time Has Come. The uber catchy solo is so blindingly fast, I think its synthesized. Other brilliant tracks in this finely balanced acoustic and rock album include Be Yourself, Doesn't Remind Me, Heaven's Dead, The Worm, Man or Animal, Yesterday To Tomorrow, Dandelion, #1 Zero, The Curse, (erm fuck, isin't that the entire album already?!) and my personal favourite, Out of Exile. It sounded so good I learnt to play it on my bass. Sadly nobody's there to attempt the guitar.

So go tune in to it with no regrets. On my accounts, its bleedingly good. And do ask around for a guitarist who likes to jam Audioslave. Thanks.

ALBUM REVIEW: Matchbook Romance - Voices

2006-03-17T00:11:00.000+08:00

This year's biggest piece of trash has officially landed. Matchbook Romance shows us just how low they can get with their latest album 'Voices'. And what a dramatic fall from grace it is! With new albums comes greater band maturity but in the case of MR, they have channeled their experience into a shambolic cacophony of noises.

Listening to this album launches me into a moody feel. Yes, emo is good but no, this is totally the wrong brand of it. From the first track "You Can Run But We'll Find You", I knew that something was horribly wrong. After spoiling us with such hits like "Lovers and Liars" and "Tiger Lily", MR fans have been eagerly anticipating their followup album. "With great power comes great responsibility." Apparently some members haven't been watching enough Spider Man. I mean why fix something if it ain't broken?

At best, they sound like a Taking Back Sunday suffering from depression with their use of dual vox on some tracks. That's at best; most of the time they just seem to be carrying a weirdly mutated strain of HIM's famed brand of Love Metal. Come on let's face it, they try to be but they are no Finch (Say Hello To Sunshine). They lack the aggressiveness, speed and technicality. Personally, I feel that they are just trying to position themselves into too many musical markets. Such that it becomes far too difficult to classify their genre. And as listeners, we hate it. Well what the hell at least the droning vocals that drag on too for far too long give the Gregorian monks a run for their money.

Dump it, burn it do whatever with it argh just stop talking about it. Wait a minute are you even sure this is Matchbook Romance?

POST: today kinda boring.

2006-03-16T00:29:00.000+08:00

today nothing much happened. stuck in the com labs all day trying to find ways to while away the time. while finding temporal solace in the form of KOL. lets hope tomorrow will be more interesting.

i'm gonna create a new background image for my blog tomorrow. lets hope i can get it up by stipulated time. time to inject some new life into this colourless blog. with some help from kk i can put some pictures in as well. cheers!

POEM: Write!

2006-03-16T00:02:00.000+08:00

Judge a person not by how he speaks,
nor by how he looks,
but by how he writes.
While speech may be impeded by impulse
and appearances may be deceiving,
compositions do not lie.
As contemplation, purposefulness and conviction
are the cornerstones and the fundamentals of it.

-Sammy

POST: whirlwind week

2006-03-15T00:56:00.000+08:00

last week was a blur. drank 4 nights out of 6. totally out of discipline. hence i didnt blog. was too drunk most of the nights to remember much. neither do i want to talk much about it. looking back, the only interesting and sad thing about last week was when i had to send shan into tekong. kinda sad that another brother has left me, if only temporarily. and at the same time it kinda spurs me on to go for NS myself. to get into the jive and understand what all the jargon mambo jumbo is all about. yeah i know it will make me a better person. but while shan's inside, just want him to know that out here, i'm suffering just a little less than him, cos i no longer have his company as and when i need him. just like him.

alright i shall mention one particularly interesting drinking session. that was on thursday night, 2 nights before he went in. jeremy brought along a half bottle of gin (with a little bit of vodka tainted by me) and we went about having a mini drinking session behind my block at the street soccer club. now you guys all know i am quite particular about having my drinks chilled, so i brought a considerably sized ice box which contained quite a lot of ice cubes. 2 very nice tall glasses (presumably for champagne) as well as a chopstick for a stirrer. we had a rollicking good time when shan joined us, already quite tipsy from his beer escapade. so we drank quite a bit and played soccer whilst we were high! cos somebody left the ball there. we kicked about and i dare say the soccer gods favoured me even when i'm severely inebriated- i ran circles around them. shan was humming emo tunes so i told sim that the only way to make him shut up was to get him even more intoxicated. so i plied him with glass after glass while i followed suit. and the results were shocking to say the least. details i shall not reveal cos i deem to sensitive for your eyes = ) just a little hint of what we did. shan woke up with bruises on his hands, a large cut on his knees and twisted his ankle. all without having an inkling (ok maybe a little bit) of what happened the night before.

and me? i woke up at 5.30 and found myself still down at the void deck when they left 3 hours ago! i went home to sleep and made it to school 3 hours late (how i did make it to school was already an incredible feat so dont bitch about the 3 hours). i thought i had a hangover but my teacher wanted to conduct a group meeting so i had to drag myself there and pretend to be sober. i kept my distance in case she smelled the gin and just acted enthusiastic. erm maybe a bit too enthusiastic. cos i found out i wasnt really having a hangover; i was still drunk and not yet sober. imagine it, still freaking drunk and going to a meeting. the hangover only came after i had a 2 hour nap in the afternoon. talk about crazy. very nearly blew it = )

and that is just 1 drinking session. beg me and i'll tell you the others.

POST: Arsenal vs. Liverpool

2006-03-15T00:51:00.000+08:00

ARSENAL vs LIVERPOOL

Arsenal prevail 2-1! All you Liverfools go eat your hearts out. especially fowler supporters. what kind of striker doesn't score goals? oops sorry that lame assed freak and the word score dont go in the same sentence. i dont support losers. go cry your sorry asses out. fowler? dont make me laugh. brilliant through ball from gerrard though. with love and good will your liverpool captain presented the 3 points to the arsenal skipper on a silver platter. that just makes it all the better now dont it? = ) we have had too many hat tricks against your sorry club. that last 0-1 reverse was just a blip. now go suck it.

POST: my return

2006-03-13T23:59:00.000+08:00

tomorrow i'm back to Blogosphere from my holiday. cheers!

POST: WALKING ON SUNSHINE!

2006-03-06T23:22:00.000+08:00

hurray hurray hurray! i had the most absolutely smashing weekend EVER and i finally get to blog! its been far too long for me that i experienced something so fantastic. better than what i've had for the past 10 fucking months! and better yet, it was a long weekend. today i booked in sick so that makes for 4 days in a row without school. more about that later.

yesterday was our inaugural end-of-CRMCC2 bbq! it was held at samuel's house. yes i know CRMCC2 happened a long time ago. but its better late than never right? even if its fucking 11 weeks late. lol. Tiffany, Seng Kang, Reuben, Fraser, Jun Sheng, Xiao Ming, Jasman, Eric, me made up the call centre motley crue, save Alan who was just there do have a rocking good time. and have a good time we did! yours truly was in charge of chicken wings which sheck, roobs and jasman said was not marinated enough cos it looked real chickeny in colour. and i barred them from eating it cos they dont trust me! look who has the last laugh. the wings were dope.

but a small fire, lack of tongs, no aluminium foil along with samuel's little hiccup meant that the bbq really only started at 10plus pm. yes and we had school the next day. so we sufficed on a diet of marshmallows, mamee noodles and half cooked crabsticks. haha they were off the grill in a matter of seconds. the hot dog was positively not cooked so i ended up with a horrific stomach ache. curses.

while waiting for the foil to arrive via Fraser, we boys had some serious fun fooling around in the pool and heading to the sauna ala mafia. and after the initial round of crabsticks, thats when the party started as we popped open sheck's rum for massive shots (ARRRRRRRRR!). somebody wanted to match me drinks for drinks. = ) anyways we followed that up with giant vodka shots (the half bottle was finished by the first round) and baron's shots. and the both of them were out like a light! that is after their kissing-all-the-boys antics and puking in the bin and laughing at their own jokes and just acts of retardedness. names i shall not list for fear of offending them. but those at the party know. and i've got tons of pics to show which if i put them down will cause a much bigger stir than tammy. = ) time to make me happy cos i have the trump card.

so they all woke up with massive hangovers and i do admit my head was spinning quite a bit. but i had the decency in me to drag a pool chair all the way over to the pits and make my bed. the security popped by past midnight to bitch about that but i guess he took pity on my gentle, docile sleeping face and told my friends to return the chair first thing in the morning. roobs, sheck, fraser and i decided to skip school cos it was kinda late already and we were still suffering the effects. so we decided to head for the docs for what else but 'hang-over'ness. which of course i know is not a medical term so i wonder how we'll pull it off.

sheck fetched me home after that and we had prawn mee and a nice chat. so nice to have a friend who rides a repsol. i save tons of transportation.

anyways tomorrow i'm headed to my old pal darren's chalet to get totally sloshed for his 'girl-outnumber-guys' party. maybe bringing my long-lost friend christina along. the week starts by looking really blossomy! i'm am indeed walking on sunshine.

POST: yesterday night

2006-03-04T19:03:00.000+08:00

red shoes, doritos taco, mcs, mcs again, last night was fun

wont forget it in a jiff = )

SONG: Give Me Novocaine

2006-03-04T19:01:00.000+08:00

i'll trade Green Day for Coldplay anyday.

Green Day - Give Me Novocaine

Take away the sensation inside
Bitter sweet migraine in my head
Its like a throbbing tooth ache of the mind
I can't take this feeling anymore

Drain the pressure from the swelling,
The sensations overwhelming,
Give me a kiss goodnight and everything will be alright
Tell me that I won't feel a thing
So give me Novacaine

Out of body and out of mind
Kiss the demons out of my dreams
I get the funny feeling, that’s alright
Jimmy says it's better than air,
I’ll tell you why

Drain the pressure from the swelling,
The sensations overwhelming,
Give me a kiss goodnight and everything will be alright,
Tell me that I won't feel a thing,
So give me Novacaine

Oh Novacaine

Drain the pressure from the swelling,
The sensations overwhelming
Give me a kiss goodnight and everything will be alright,
Tell me Jimmy I won't feel a thing,
So give me Novacaine

yup thats how i'm feeling. numb the pain.

POST: swimming day!

2006-03-03T01:45:00.000+08:00

hey sorry for the lack of post yesterday.. was feeling pretty ok the whole day till samuel started me on a topic i didnt really wanna talk about. yes that dreaded one. so i spent the whole evening brooding and being emo. grrr stone him.

today is swimming day! i was actually not supposed to be in school cos my mum gave me 20 bucks to see a doctor today cos i was feeling 'unwell' but i decided against it cos i gave samuel my word that i would turn out to swim. so whats so fun about 3 tep guys skipping duties and running off to the pool to swim? you'll be damned! the weather was fantastic today and we had so much fun jumping in the pool, tanning, jumping in again, doing laps, playing lame rope stunts and breath tests. havent had so much fun in a long time. "hey my indian friend! does this look familiar?" that sentence is immortalised in my mind. its really a guys joke and i must show it for you to get it. i remember shutting my eyes while seng kang, samuel and i were getting a tan and i asked them to close their eyes and envision being on a beach. and then sining weezer's island in the sun. fanfuckingtastic! it left me so happy the rest of the day. and not to mention tired. but today was really special. male bonding and all. and i remembered telling them "now i know why all of the students from the last batch were so disappointed and sad to leave tep- this is the life they were having." a pity it is my last stopover and its coming to an end soon. a far cry from my nightmare days in crmcc2.

after swimming we headed over to bpos for a game of daidee. we were at the table at the back and right next to us were another group of girls playing uno. guess what? teacher came in, caught all of them and took down their particulars- for the purpose of receiving a personalised warning letter. mind you these stupid letters mean an automatic degrade. means an A would become a B and a C would become a D. dangerous. the blind teacher missed us who were playing a more 'harsh' card game. and worst of all the cards we were using belonged to one of the girls who were caught. well guess its all a matter of sleight of hand at the end of the day. quickness and guile = )

tomorrow i'm finally gonna be on mc. for gastric i think. gonna make full use of the whole day to get some much deserved rest. 17 hour days are bloody killing me! especially after you swam and went out in the sun in the afternoon. i was so tired that i actually couldnt even last a few hours in the night with the boys. so i had to cancel our brokeback mountain movie date. double gay!

talked to two of my close friends today. everything needs closure. thats cos every story has a beginning. therefore they need an ending. believe me you can never move on in your life without settling the things that are unsettling you. if your arm is infected, cut it off even if you know you will lose it forever. dont risk it infecting the rest of your body. there's no way it can ever heal since it's terminal. so in life you have to make tremendous sacrifices so as to become a more wholesome person. it might hurt now but it will surely be good for you in the future. trust me.

POST: oh mlm and shiznits

2006-03-01T00:04:00.000+08:00

today i am considerably happy. which i have not been for a considerably long time. i consider myself genuinely elated because my mum made good her word to get me something fanfuckingtastic for being such a model son. which i consider to be really quite a good idea. and its about time cos upon consideration, i cant really remember the last time she got me something really glam. and of course i'm not gonna tell you guys what it is considering how much i love suspense. oh i can hear the swears right now. its just really expensive and something i can be really proud of. coming from my most beloved mum.. *swoons* definately without consideration.

anyway i was on my way to work today when the weirdest thing occured to me. some woman behind me told me that i had some tissue paper stuck below my shoe while i was on the escalator leaving the bugis mrt station. she was gonna recruit me for a job. can you guys guess what job it is?

woman: "you've got something below your shoe"
me: "oh yes. thank you. i'll better unstick it. mmm i think i'll kick it to the side so nobody else steps on it"
(i sweep it aside and walk towards parco when she stops me)
woman: "erm are you interested in a part time job"
me: *WTF? shock la* "oh actually i'm heading to one right now"
woman: "would you be interested in a career in sales. you can be promoted to manager if your performance is good. my company is currently expanding"
me: "oh i have quite a hectic shedule actually. i work till 11pm every night and i attend school at 8.30am every day"
woman: "it doesnt matter. why dont you give it a shot. many ns men and poly students work for us. we even have university graduates in the company. it has good prospects. so when are you free? you want to come down for an interview"
me: "but i'm incapicitated everyday"
woman: "you can come down on saturday. 2-3pm. i'll reserve a slot. by the way can i have your phone number so i may contact you"
me: (give her my number and name) "i cant make promises. but keep in contact"
*for fucking real you think i'm gonna waste my precious saturday on that crap?!*
woman: "where is your restaurant anyway?"
me: "oh its at liang seah street"
woman: "actually i'm headed there now. are we going in the same direction"
me: *WTF?! dont you ever give up bitch?* "erm nah i'm headed to the supermarket to get a beverage"
(i then departed and walked the back lane to my restaurant. carefully avoiding above-mentioned woman.)

so you guys got what the fuck she's asking me to do yet? it is.. mmm did you get it right? or did it never cross your mind. her restaurant is actually above a fucking steamboat restaurant. so what the hell could it be? could it be my pedestal for greatness? my destiny? oh no what could it be?! dont keep me in suspense anymore! it is of course the venerable MLM. multi-motherfucking-level-marketing. you think i will give 2 fucks about that? puhlease i'm not dumb.

on a lighter note i actually have a chance of earning USD$20 from my game tonight! wish me good luck! long live KOL!

ANNOUNCEMENT: text

2006-02-28T14:47:00.000+08:00

NOTICED THE CHANGE? YES THE TEXT HAS BECOME BIGGER SMART BOY/GIRL/(INSERT YOUR GENDER HERE). DEDICATED TO SARAH WHO ONCE SAID THAT MY TEXT RESEMBLED AN ANT'S DICK. I REMEMBER ; )

POST: add ons

2006-02-28T00:28:00.000+08:00

today somebody mentioned to me that my blog was her source of happiness. i say thank you very much it is gladly appreciated. if this site can touch at least one life, then it has served its purpose.

last night i dreamt of the weirdest thing. i dreamt that British Prime Minister Tony Blair died of bird flu and somehow weihao was directly involved in it. he just kept crying non-stop when i quizzed him. stop laughing it was a really scary affair. the whole world was in pandemonium and it was so gloomy. well they do say that the idle mind is the workshop of the devil. mind must be diablo, mephisto and baal's garage.

POST: my mum. i love her to bits.

2006-02-27T23:49:00.000+08:00

ah just finished my 1hr farming of TLC in the beloved game that Sheck and i so adore. yes TLC is what i need right now and no, TLC stands for ten-leaf clover, a valuable item in the game. speaking of sheck, today he asked me over lunch whether he was a living joke. i was really quite taken aback from the question but i dismissed all his doubts. people will respect you whether your name is funny or not, that is only if you command it. and besides if your beloved doesnt find anything wrong then all the better right= )

today that bastard guy taught me how to do a magic trick. and it is today that i executed my first trick! i promptly practised on my mum and she was visibly quite shocked by it. she asked me how i did the trick and i said that we have a spiritual connection because we are mother and son. and she really bought it. then she asked if it will work if its father and son. oh mum! you're so silly! she really believed me and tought that we have a bonding. you know what mum? we do. times like this i realise the most beautiful woman is the one i love the most in the world. and she loves me back so much. i know she will never forsake me. and i know she has such high hopes on me. i'll try to never let her down. that's my promise.

found out that a lot of my friends in relationships have problems. seems like nothing is quite like what it seems on the surface huh. well you know who to go to when you're in times of need. i may give shit advices yes but at least i have a pair of ears to listen = ) i'll give you a short stanza or poem or adage or whathaveyou. its dedicated to all my friends out there, distant or close, sexy or not. but especially to the beautiful single ones. ; ) its at the bottom and i changed the name to beat the cliche. but i thought it up in a huff so its kinda low class. well why dont you do a better one huh? since you're so good.

you guys do know that i'm in EMRS right. the events roadshow shit. well my group's idea of a mini roadshow encompassing japanese and korean snacks from cheers (which was really my idea) actually got picked. er damn its not glam job as that means now we're gonna be fully engaged! no more running up to BPOS to catch cantonese cooking master boy. what the hell might as well milk the cow for what its worth. so i proposed to the teacher to let us have tomorrow off to do some 'reccy'. which is really just galivanting about town and watching Final Destination 3! i can hardly wait. well we're gonna bomb this roadshow i just know it. and when the dust settles you better give my my 'A' b%tch!

Tomodaji
Friend tell me all your problems,
for your sorrows are a sign.
Your burdens i'll carry
in just a matter of time
If others turn their backs on you,
i'll never do the same
i'll put you back on track
if you ever step out of lane
Friends right till the end
is not a promise we can make.
But friends as good as it lasts
is a chance i'll gladly take.
So whenever you need solace,
you know i'll be there for you.
For i know not when's the time
that i'll need a shoulder too.

"loneliness is the space between the company of friends" - Sammy

POST: JB

2006-02-27T00:32:00.000+08:00

today is sunday. and sunday means clear out more junk from my room! managed to clear an entire shelf worth of useless objects. and some stuffed toys that have bad memories stuffed in them. ah dont i sound like a househusband already doing chores and clearing stuff. anyway i got a lot more place to store my shoes now so thats a plus. and i finally extracted the posters from my old room to adorn the bare whitewash walls! i feel less lazy by the minute.

today i went to jb with my family. been eons since i went out with my family on sunday but i guess i really value this day. i mean how many others of my age can boast regular family days? my parents place real emphasis on the importance of family days and i definately wish to instil it in my children the day i have a family of my own. at least it contributes to me being less fucked up than i could be (i think?)

jb means shopping, eating and cheap stuff for others. but for me it just means cigarettes and wax. yowza. a lot of packs to be exact. ah i love family day. tomorrow i return to reality. but i love reality. my school mates know why. ; )

POST: the big shambolic nothing

2006-02-26T01:29:00.000+08:00

yesterday was Jacob's birthday party! the theme was heaven or hell and i decided to goth! yes goth, together with eyeliner and black nail polish and all black garb. but i told him (jacob) eons ago that i was bringing a partner but i didnt have any, decided to ask mr. yama along. and then something kinda funny happened to him and the whole night ended up not the way i quite expected. but what the hell great company's worth more than alcohol and women eh. and i love being vague cos that makes me remotely intelligent so i shall not dwell on it. it's my blog! = )

today i woke up at 12, having slept for 6 hours. watched a very old episode of naruto for fun and just marvelled at how japanese censorship functioned *hint* *hint*. and then i fell asleep for 4 hours more. golly shan's house has a definate aura. one that compells to rest your damn head on something soft.

got home, changed and talked to char! finally get to strike up a decent conversation with her after adding her on msn and friendster and all. this girl's got the ice. *brrrrrr* unfortunately i could not carry on the session as i had to bathe and go to work. but my mother directed me home to do some household chores cos she said it wasnt busy. WTF!! after i travelled all the way there? whatever happened to the common telephone?

i figure i much rather like my house neat, tidy and spotless. rather then with clothes and items lying around, much like what i was in my younger days. i guess people do mellow as they grow older like adopt different habits and practises. so i spent like a reaaaaaly long time vacuuming the floor and mopping it, much like 2 hours. why? because i cant stand strands of long hair lying around. yes i am a freak. this is after i uncluttered my room a few days back and gave myself a strict discipline of hanging my clothes, folding them and not letting them touch the floor. i think i'm finally beginning to get used to it. how i appear on the outside should reflect on how my house and room is. if only you can unclutter and unmess mistakes in your life.

so i have a couple of pics i want to put up and a lot to blog about them! acquired something really exciting today that i've been longing to purchase! feel so proud of myself. everybody please spam jeremy to pass me that data transfer cable! so you can finally get some good feeds! alright then gotta go. got an appointment to attend.

POST: 17 hours day hotdamn!

2006-02-24T00:25:00.000+08:00

just reached home by cab to round up a rather long but quite interesting day. the reason why i cabbed back was because i missed the bus. and my reason for doing so is that i overslept. i'm so tired from today's activities that i fell asleep on the 147. i knew that would happen so i set an alarm for 35 mins; the usual journey would take 45 mins but the bus driver today decided to do an initial d and apparently reached my house by 20 mins. ho-hum. but now that i'm home, it finally seems like my 17 gruelling hour day is coming to an end (7.30am up for school, then afterwards straight to work, then afterwards marathon, then afterwards home). guess when you're physically tired, its ok. when your phyically and mentally tired, you need more rest but when your physically, mentally and emotionally tired you need serious attention.

today was the great restaurant-esplanade-restaurant sprint! i did a most honourable and courageous thing today; overcome my fear of flowers to pay for and deliver a lovely bouquet for a lovely friend of mine. i helped him collect it from town, store it at my restaurant and then deliver it to his 'anata'. which sounds really quite harmless unless you got a fully booked restaurant and your mother breathing down your neck. but this should really be about my fear of flowers because i'm absolutely petrified of them after the valentines day debacle. i began to believe that giving flowers to a girl would only equate to heartbreak but its really not my girl now and neither is it my flowers. i know my dearest friend's not gonna be so unlucky ; )

anyway my day was spent milling about school attending over 7 hours of classes and lectures (all of the boring variety sadly) and my restaurant was packed to the max! only at 11pm did the customers start clearing. #$@%^#$^ assholes dont need to go to work but i still need to get to school the next morning ok! anyway tomorrow's roadshow day so i better do get enough rest. and chelsea lost to barca to cap up a most interesting and long day. yay.

POST: Friends

2006-02-22T23:41:00.000+08:00

today i'm the richest man ever!

not in terms of cash dammit. lest you guys come queueing up my door and asking me for loans. but in something much more precious and rare to find. friends.

sadly it is true that only in the darkest and most lonely period of your life do you find the true worth of your friends. these aren't your fair-weather friends who toss you at your time of need. friends who just want to call you out to have fun, to take advantage of you and then forget you. nope not at all.

these are God's blessings on you. your true friends. friends whom you can neglect for months (highly not recommended!) on end but still call upon you to assist you and check up on you.
they are the ones that know that not all things is fine even when it seems that way. they know that people can hide so many things behind their smiles.

and there are even some who go to the extent of not even letting you sit 3 stops of mrt and spend 5 mins alone. they insist on accompanying you even at the cost of losing their comfortable seats. QQ, Amanda, Darren and Jane. CRAZY PEOPLE! not at all, instead they are the best of friends = )

so for my new new new resolution, i want to be a better friend myself. simply cos i will never forget the way i was treated by you guys out there. if you told me that nyp would have such a bastion of genuine angels i would gladly fail more modules and retain.

glad to find solace in you guys. many thanks to all esp to KA, Joan, CD, QQ, Xiao Ming, Terence, JX Shan and Sim. and sorry to those i've missed.

and just for the record, i'm really ok! don't worry!

POST: ARSENAL!

2006-02-22T07:19:00.000+08:00

one fucking nil! one fucking nil! Real Madrid 0 Arsenal 1!!! A CHAMPIONS LEAGUE AWAY WIN OVER REAL MADRID! SCREW YOU MANCHESTER UNITED! SCREW YOU MORE LIVERPOOL WHO CANT EVEN BEAT LOWLY BENFICA! BWAHAHAHAHAHA! FOWLER?! ROFLOL DONT SHIT ME!

POST: Grand Closure

2006-02-22T00:25:00.000+08:00

today i finally have grand closure.
things have been dragging on for far too long. and i gotta admit i was never the patient one. what for compromise some more and become what i'm not. besides i like to be in control. i dont like to mill and wait for an outcome i already can anticipate.
i feel free. feel happy. feel satisfied. now i can finally start moving on in my life and close this 6 year chapter knowing that i never let anybody, and most importantly myself down.
i sleep tonight knowing that tomorrow's gonna be a new day. gonna put my heart and soul into a lot of commitments i shall not say which for fear of jinxing. for fear of them not coming true. i shall steer clear of empty promises and make my word the bottom line cos i want it to be trustworthy once again. oops jinxing!

tomorrow's gonna be a better day.

POST: yesterday's fun

2006-02-20T22:56:00.000+08:00

yesterday i almost died. today i live to write the most stunning tale of my life.

POST: i hate to see me like this

2006-02-19T18:58:00.000+08:00

today my parents argued. about an old issue. something that had bothered my mother long enough. and my dad wanted closure. it became full blown and i'm kinda happy with the way things resolved. i mean at least they're resolved. i mean in my life right now, there's not really much things i can be happy about.

but something happened to me when my dad called me out. he sent my mother downstairs so he could speak with his 3 children. but when he called me out to talk to me, this sudden depression just swept through my whole body. evident that i should cannot stay at home and have nothing to do. so he summoned me out. he shouted "come out now. i want to talk to you. now. now!" and then i did. and then i just completely broke down.

the pressures of the entire week which i had stored came pouring out. i started tearing. then i started hyperventilating. this time it was serious. i never had this before except for that day when i had a tiny attack, which my doctor shan diagnosed. this attack lasted like 2 minutes but it was enough. i felt really really dizzy and my head started spinning. then i felt this feeling in my hands, like too much blood or too little.

guess i had a really, really long week. that attack really freaked my parents out. i collapsed on the floor and tried to slow my breathing down. and then the events of the whole week just flashed across my head. monday happy. tuesday worry. wednesday brooding. thursday elation when i thought things could turn. friday super stress and anger. saturday comfort from my friends. sunday depression.

my rehab aint gonna be over so soon. my broken heart probably cant be healed.

wonder what next week would bring. or if i could even live to see it end.

POST: the oc S03E12

2006-02-19T12:30:00.000+08:00

woke up today feeling very emo. the effects of yesterday's tipple seemed to have set in but i didnt have to much so its pretty ok. my back stopped hurting though. decided to write a mail of closure.

and i just finished watching the oc eps 12. how i wish my life did map out the way it did in that show. if all that's going on i so similar. if that's true i wont be feeling like shit 24/7. and omg i so need a dysfuntional girl's sexy sister with endless legs decked up in school uniform at my front door! everything would be set in poetric motion.

i just need a girl without issues and emotional baggage.

current progress: one step forward. two steps back.

POST: ode to you.

2006-02-17T13:48:00.000+08:00

ODE TO YOU

one day i'll learn to forget you. one day i'll move on.

for the past 6-7 years. and the past 10 months.

thank you for existing in my life.

for teaching me what it is to love.

i ever told you i'll die happy. cos i've experienced true love. and that makes me greater than a lot of people out there. i still believe so.

for you were my first ever. and the best ever.

sorry for the times i'm not around. you know i try to be. all the time.

and sorry for the mistakes i've made. i'm only human. but i tended to be a quite sucky one = )

i'm not a great boyfriend. cos
i know i've got an ego. pride. and i know i dont give in to you all the time. i know i promise too much and deliver too little. and i said lots of nasty stuff i dont mean.

i'm selfish and quite conceited too.
see my point. i'm talking about myself now when it should be about/for you. = (

you have been brilliant. my driving force. my motivation. my source of strength. you made me experience what i've been missing in my life. and taught me so much.

looks like you're never gonna see me be rich and treat you to that restaurant in holland. haha = )

oh my god i cant go on. dont wanna be seen crying. i'm weak see.

in short. grace you were the one girl with magic.

and i know you loved me a lot. you just didnt dare show it.
cos you silly girl you. you're afraid that i might hurt you.

thanks for giving this relationship another shot.

guess it seems like we aren't made for each other after all.

as it is i cant believe that you're gone. you left so suddenly. i still cant face the fact that you're no longer in my life anymore.

but the past 10 mohths; it was the stuff of fairy tales.

may we meet again some point in our loves. and laugh at how silly we were in the past.

i'm sorry i cant be the man of your dreams. but you are always gonna be the love of my life.
and i never regretted anything.

grace thank you.

SPECIAL: King Kong Movie Review

2006-02-16T13:51:00.000+08:00

The king has arrived. After a hiatus of 29 years, John Guillermin’s timeless classic has finally been reborned. And what a dramatic change it has gone through!

Acclaimed director Peter Jackson adds another blockbuster to his already impressive list of masterpieces. King Kong follows closely in the footsteps of his other hits like the Lord of The Rings Trilogy by being very special effects intensive and even sharing the same effects studio in the form of WETA. But that is not to say that this movie is any weaker than its predecessor.

Like the 1976 and 1933 movie of the same title, the storyline has not changed at all. The latest edition packs however, a lot more scenes such as a dinosaur fight as well as an ice skating scene that clearly could not be shot in the past due to the lack of appropriate technology. These scenes now appear in all of its 3d glory to entice new audiences and continue to lure the younger generation to the romance that is King Kong.

By assembling a star-studded cast with big names such as Naomi Watts, Adrien Brody and Andy Serkis, it is clear for all to see that Jackson intends to sell this movie not only on graphics alone. And the ensemble has paid off in the form of numerous Academy Awards, Saturn Awards and even Oscar nominations. But that is not to say that this film is just based on acting and effects alone. Much credit goes to Jackson for his meticulous and daring directing.

In this 2005 edition, Naomi Watts stars as the ethereal and timeless Ann Darrow hailing from the Great Depression hit New York. The woman who King Kong eventually falls in love with. After the unfortunate shutdown of her performance theater and subsequent lost of her job, Darrow is forced to source for alternative means for food and finds herself at the doorsteps of a shady cabaret. Enter scheming film-maker Carl Denham (Jack Black) who offers to not only rescue her from obscurity, but shoot her to superstardom by acting in his new direction. Along the way, Denham also manages to trick famous story writer Jack Driscoll (Adrien Brody) into taking the perilous journey with him on the count of paying his wages ‘shortly’.

The trio then boards the ill-fated S.S. Venture and manages to leave before the authorities manage to detain Denham for his misdeeds. Other interesting characters on board the ship include a ‘star’ lead actor who is too full of himself Bruce Baxter (Kyle Chandler) and the charismatic Captain Englehorn played by Thomas Kretschmann. Denham leads the crew into a wild goose chase to locate the fabled Skull Island. And despite all methods of rejection and refusal from the crewmen, they unfortunately find themselves stranded on it. The rest as they say is history.

Jackson brings to life the mysteriousness of Skull Island by meticulously planning and designing every creature and insect that inhibits it; details never seen before in any of the other King Kong productions. And the finale at the top of the World Trade Centre is a sure tear-jerker. In a nutshell, a magnificent climax befitting a magnificent movie.

But of course, what else would you expect from the master of epics, Peter Jackson?

POST: torn

2006-02-16T11:47:00.000+08:00

utter and complete shock. turns to confounding confusion. turns to eye blurring anger. turns to a feeling of crestfallen.

after the shock settles, the confusion sets in.

crestfallen. meaning dispirited and depressed. such a beautiful word conveying such a morbid message. unfortunately, being crestfallen is an understatement to what i feel now.

it is raining in my heart. for all i've done right, i must have deserved something. something that does not necessarily has to be right. no i'm not even asking for that. but definately not something that is not downright wrong. but unfortunately it is the case.

my feeling right now? disappointment.

i am disappointed.

i admit sometimes my best isin't good enough. but i never could forsee the punishment. no not at all.

right now this pain in my heart. its coarsing through my veins. i feel like i'm pierced all over my body. my skin is virtually stretched and torn. my will is crushed. but most unfortunately, i have not died yet. i'm still going through this pain. every second. every breath that i take.

that is the feeling i'm going through now. for your reckless abandon again i pay the price.

POST: Thank you!

2006-02-15T13:12:00.000+08:00

I just wanna post a big thank you to all those involved with the Sammy Shocking Revelation campaign. A big hug to Shan, Jeremy, Brandon, Patrick. And definately those who gave me the pat on a back like Zam, D, that girl in the specs, my mum and especially Herry. you guys have been fanfuckingtastic but i hope to never see you all helping me out in such a thing again! i mean who';s really that unlucky to get pwned twice! anyway Its people like you who let me know that the planet still revolves, the sun dont stop shinin' and the music dont stop pumpin'! thank you!

Anyway valentines day ended in disaster. ho hum. which calendar 'event' doesnt. i'm beginning to stop surprising myself. meeting my friends after work tonight i think. dont wanna be alone and i know my friends wont let me be either. these motherfuckers. i'll die for them too = )

oh yes and to all the liverpudlian. do not gloat for its nothing to be proud off when beating a second string side with absolutely no defence and that is currently in transition. wtf is 1-0? remember the 0-3 thrashings? yes remember it well. the results dont matter this season. robbie fowler? pfffft . he's nothing without that nose patch. he's not a striker. he's a shadow.

POST: Valentines Shmalentines

2006-02-13T22:04:00.000+08:00

Valentines Day is a farcicle. but only those close to me know what i really mean. so keep it to yourself ok = ). today is a day i should feel crestfallen. and depressed and dejected and fall apart and crumble. but strangely i still feel so happy. so hopeful and so blissful. today is the day my body went where my heart did not wish to go.

anyway SuperHeartsDay is coming soon. soooooooo looking forward to it. roxors.

SONG: Nickleback - Far Away

2006-02-13T21:59:00.000+08:00

Far Away

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know, you know, you know

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know, you know, you know

So far away
(So far away)
Been far away for far too long
So far away
(So far away)
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
(Keep breathing)
Hold on to me and, never let me go
(Keep breathing)
Hold on to me and, never let me go

ANNOUNCEMENTS: MAGS

2006-02-13T05:09:00.001+08:00

So for all the magazine reports, please pardon me for misintepretation. I try my best but at the end of the day, its for the teacher to buy it. And not for you to judge me. If you dont want to pardon me, then SUE ME. And while you're at it, EAT MY SHORTS. Thankew = )

SPECIAL: CLUBS

2006-02-13T05:09:00.000+08:00

Rebirth of Clubbing?

For far too long, Zouk and Phuture has been dominating the clubbing industry in Singapore. Well known in the region for its innovation and style, it has been a frontrunner in the local scene. But all that is set to change as the famed Ministry of Sound that hails from London lands on our shores and enters straight into the fray. Yes there are other clubs in Singapore such as Liquid Room and China Black, but with its arsenal of superstar DJ's and its uber-chic image, its only direct competitor is definately, yes you've guessed it; Singapore's very own Zouk. While it sure helps send the clubbing population in a frenzy, does this famous icon really size up to the competition and give Zouk a run for its money? So just put on your dancing shoes and let our magazine get you in the groove!

Reputation:
Having been picked 4 times for nightspot of the year since its inauguration in 1992 is a testament to Zouk's winning formula. But staying on top of its game for 14 years in fickle minded Singapore is an even greater phenomenon! By far one of the oldest and most reputable clubs in Singapore.

Based in London, Ministry has countless clubs in Europe and Asia, namely Australia, Germany, United Kingdom, Taiwan, Ibiza and of course Singapore. Compared to Zouk's only other outlet in Kuala Lumper Malaysia, Ministry has a far greater worldwide reputation. From producing CDs to creating mobile phones to even running its own tv channel, Zouk comprehensively pales in comparison to the brand factor of Ministry. In fact Zouk was meant to mirror Ministry when it opened! But having to close down its Bangkok branch in 2003 means that Ministry might not have what it takes to succeed in the Asia market.

Size:
Zouk stands at 20,000sq ft.

Ministry of Sound has a whooping 20,000sq ft. Double that of Zouk. Incidentally, it is the biggest Ministry of Sound establishment in the world.

Music:
Ministry of Sound caters to every genre of popular dance music by dishing out progressive house, funk, electro, hip-hop/R&B, disco and soulful house.

Zouk plays progressive house, chill out tunes and hip-hop/R&B. It's famed Wednesday nights or better known as Ladies Night offers some eclectic Mambo grooves. It also has special events when Brit rock, post punk and alternative is played in Phuture.

Rooms:
Ministry of Sound is divided into 7 different sections. The Main Arena houses a 20ft long water curtain and has a giant screen streaming motion videos. This is the area where guest DJs and main events showcase their talents. The main area houses the majority of the clubber.
The Tunnel is a strictly members-only area which serves as an excellent chill-out area due to its low-volume music and condusive atmosphere. It is also the most spacious section of the club.
54 is the name of the 70's inspired Disco mini-club where clubbers can enjoy retro and disco music.
Pure is the place to go to for soulful music. The purple lights that illuminate this small section brings an ethereal feel and the sofa beds spell relaxation.
The Taittinger Sky Lounge is for VIP and societal figureheads. As its name suggests, it is situated at the highest floor of the club and only serves fine wine, cognacs and champagne at the bar.
Smoove is Ministry's answer to Zouk's Phuture and it proves to be the current second most popular section of Ministry, losing only to the Main Arena. R&B is still one of the best crowd pleasers in the Singaporean market.
VIP Suites is self explanatory. Guests may choose what music to be streamed as they are in a completely private environment.

Zouk's main section is self-titled. It has state of the art sound systems and can house the most amount of people in the premises. House music is played by the DJs and occasionally, famous DJs perform here. Just recently at the 6th of January, the current World's Number 1 DJ Paul Van Dyk performed at this very section!
Phuture blasts the lastest in R&B and hip-hop. Constantly keeping itself up to date, it recently overwent a major makeover along with Zouk. LCD panels have been installed and the dancing room has been enlarged to keep up with the growing population of Phuture visitors.
Velvet Underground is an Avant Garde arthouse in a club with a mish-mash of famous designers, sculptors, architects and artists like Philippe Starck, Massimo Iosa-Ghini, Frank Stella and Andy Warhol all having a hand in its interiors. Straight from the velvet padded doors, this club is designed for young working professionals and urbanites.
Wine bar is, as its website suggests 'Zouk's pre-club bar and chill-out area'. A place to go to to get away from the loud noise and people traffic.

SPECIAL: EMO

2006-02-13T05:08:00.000+08:00

Move over radio. Emo's here to stay.

The year is 2006. Radio is out. Pop is manufactured, short lived, generic and just too old-fashioned. Hip-hop is nonsensical, synthesized, talentless and more often than not, derogatory. Rock is crossing over the fine line into pop and metal is just unfriendly. Barring classical fans and jazz afficionados, what else can the youths of today listen to? Why mainstream emo of course.

Emo is a form of punk rock simply put. The term 'emo' is derived from band members becoming emotional during performances, thus exuding an aura of sadness that transcends into the fans and listening crowd and inevitably causes them to feel the same.

But in modern day terms, Emo is just used to describe any band that is not mainstream and does not play much on the airwaves. Youths of today can identify with these bands as their own 'private' bands. That is because most of these bands hail from the same hometown as their fans. As such, the fans perceive them as their heros and model themselves after their idols. Emo fans seem to identify humility as not becoming mainstream and 'selling out' to the public. Selling out means being signed to a major recording label such as Sony BMG or Warner, subsequently creating music videos, becoming too popular and not being able to identify with your own 'kind'. But the most important reason behind not selling out would be that once a band is signed to a major label, they would be forced to play radio friendly songs so they can sell more albums. And very often, these radio friendly songs that appeal to masses are fundamentally different from the songs they started playing in the first place. Simply put, by gaining a larger fan base, you lose your original small number of fans, and the soul of your music. Such is the complexity of Emo music. So what are some of the examples of Emo in today's context?

Bright Eyes
With over 15 albums under his belt, Bright Eyes' 26 year old frontman Conor Oberst can say he's been there and done that. Musically inclined Oberst started his career with the band Commander Venus at the tender age of 13. With varying success, he featured in many household indie and emo bands such as Desaparecidos and Park Ave before residing in his main and most current project to date, Bright Eyes. With Bright Eyes, Oberst released 8 extremely popular albums including his most recent masterpiece, 'I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning' which rose all the way to #10 in the US charts; the highest any indie/emo band ever achieved. But ironically, Bright Eyes only has 2 permanent members citing Oberst and multi instrumentalist Mike Mogis. To his credit, Bright Eyes has never changed its label since its creation. Saddle Creek has always been first choice for Oberst even after being constantly wooed by Sony. Talk about not selling out.

Death Cab for Cutie
Though not necessarily labeled as emo, their music has never been branded as pop or mainstream. Perennial college students' favourite Death Cab for Cutie hails from Bellingham, Washington and consists of members Ben Gibbard, Chris Walla, Nicholas Harmer and Jason McGerr. This band has come a long way since its first album 'You Can Play These Soongs With Chords' was released in 1997. The sales for that album is a fraction that of their latest record 'Plans' which has its first single 'Soul Meets Body' hit #5 on the US Modern Rock Charts. But strangely enough they do owe a little bit of their success to US hit teen drama The OC in which one of the main characters Seth Cohen (played by Adam Brody) waxes lyrical about the band. Adam Brody is a real life Death Cab fan and insists on sticking their posters in his 'on-set bedroom' and even putting a few of their songs on the show proper. Free advertising at its best.

Special: Magazine Cover Story

2006-02-12T23:53:00.001+08:00

Shocking Revelation: "Father slept with best friend!" (this is a story ok.)

Ennis* and Jack* have always been great friends. As both are the only childs in their families, they shared many similrities and developed a fast and strong friendship. Being neighbours made things easier as they attended the same kindergarten, enrolled into the same primary school and both got into the same secondary school in the vicinity. Their families were close-knit and frequently held picnics and get-together sessions such as mah-jong and poker games. They even went on a holiday to Phuket once. Like all great friends, Ennis and Jack share a deep mutual understanding with each other. But like most people, both had skeletons in their closets they never revealed.

"We did everything together. We shared so many first times (experiences)." explains Jack who turns 23 at the end of this year. As he recalls the important moments of his life he shared with Ennis such as the first time they showed interest in girls and the group of friends Ennis used to hang out with, Jack did notice discrepancies; Ennis never had a steady girlfriend. "He was always the cuter one among us. The one girls approach first to ask for numbers. So it did come as a surprise that he never had a girlfriend. But being his good friend, the last thing on my mind would be that he has issues with his sexuality." With this mentality, Jack readily dispelled rumours circulating around secondary school that Ennis was homosexual. He even got into a fight once with a friend who gave Ennis derogatory names. Such was the bond between the friends that they have been likened to brothers more than once.

Things seemed pretty normal initially. Being neighbours, Ennis frequently came over to Jack's house for stayovers. These stayovers were encouraged by Jack's father as he deems it to be much safer for the two than going out to shopping malls and having a chance to mix with bad company. Additionally, they save a lot of money. These intentions were genuine enough since both teenagers entered the most easily influenced and impressionable periods of their lives. But the cracks started forming when Jack's father started treating Ennis exceptionally well and seemed to prefer him in Jack's company than any of his other friends. "There were times I felt torn apart. Why would my father treat a perfect stranger so well, even though he's my best friend. He even gave him more money than me for Chinese New Year" exasperates Jack as he remembers a year which his father put more money in a red packet for his friend than for him. Jack's father said it was because he wanted his son to have more independance. Jack's father lied.

On some days, Ennis would spend the whole day at Jack's house, even when he left for school. "I found it pretty weird at first. I mean, what could (Ennis) possibly find so interesting in my house? Especially when I'm not around to play games with him on the Playstation." But Ennis always explained that he found Jack's home a more condusive place to study and relax. As Ennis came over to stay more frequently, Jack noticed that his father began to stay at home more on those days. A simple coincidence, thought Jack until that fateful day he saw something he was not supposed to see. A memory that still haunts him till this day. And a nightmare that recurred too many times.

Jack recalled, "I was supposed to meet my girlfriend in town. But en route there, I felt nauseous and I begin to get light headed. I called my girlfriend and told her about my condition. She told me to return home to get some rest. I should never have returned home." It was another one of those days Ennis came over to Jack's. As he approached his room door, Jack found that his door was uncharacteristically locked. "I thought it was strange that the door was locked. But as I tried to turn the knob, I heard shouts behind the door. The first thing that came to my mind was - we are getting burgled. That muffled shoud is definately my father's" Explained Jack. Being well versed in Taekwondo, Jack hurriedly unlocked the room door and kicked it open in an attempt to surprise the 'burglar'. But nothing on earth could prepare him for what he was about to see.

Jack's father and Ennis were both naked and engaged in a sexual act. "My jaws dropped" sobbed Jack. "As I saw the look of horror on their faces, my mind went blank. I was so stunned I could not move. I seemed to have stood there for an eternity but in fact it was only a few seconds. I cannot even remember what was going through my mind at that moment. Just utter shock."

As Jack's father pleaded with him and begged for forgiveness, Jack remembered telling him "how do you expect me to live with you? You are no longer my father. I don't know you anymore. How could I live knowing my father's a homosexual? You lied to me." Jack was crestfallen but not stupid enough to make things worse. He knew that the last thing he needed was for his family to fall apart. So to this day, he still kept his promise and never informed his mother. Jack never breathed a word about the skeleton in his closet.

The forgettable day was the last time Jack saw Ennis. His former best friend would later find himself asking for a transfer to another school. And the once close families no longer met up due to some disputes. Jack's family moved to Sembawang a less than a year later.

Till this day, Jack's father never dared looked him in the eye and they seldom communicate. "He was like a brother to me. I guess I should have seen the signs. But would you if you were me?"

*names changed to protect their identity

POST: HRC!

2006-02-12T02:19:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CLARISSE!

met up with my babe (who not only woke up late but was physically late) today! she looked kinda off-coloured but she said its just lack of sleep. and maybe some stress. but she was still a dynamite of fun! we went to town, didnt really shop but instead sat down to have a nice chat. we talked about... none of your business. = )

then it was the highlight of the night! Clarisse's birthday party at HARDROCKCAFE! woots! what a fantastic place with fantastic ambience and fantastic company not forgetting fantastic band as well as fantastic food and most importantly fantastic MUSIC! the band was from another planet! oh maybe i'm exaggerating but they definately were from another country.

anyway the buffet was better than expected (but shouldnt really be that expensive) but i shouldnt complain cos it was on the birthday girl. speaking of which she must have spent a bomb cos there were so many of us! over 30 plus easily.

the mc was cute too. i mean the idea of having an mc you morons. i'm not gay. all in all it was a splendid dinner. hell i even got a free china tea cup set just for attending. talk about complete package.

so now is crunch time. the moment of hell. tons of report! *gasp* better go at it now. tata!

ps i'm always there for you babe. if you got something you wanna let out or somebody you wanna turn to you know i'll always be a stone's throw away. = )

HRC. when? tonight? what? ROCK&FUCKINGROLL.

2006-02-11T11:49:00.000+08:00

HRC TONIGHT! cant wait. more on that later. when? tonight. of course.

Confessions of a Lazy Boy

2006-02-11T11:19:00.000+08:00

Confessions of a Lazy Boy

i am stricken with guilt. errgh. its that feeling you wish you can shake off. it clings on you like a foul smell. like the heavy stench of oil in your hair after a visit to the steamboat place at marina bay. or, or, like that cigarette smell on your brand new $60+ shirt you just bought. speaking of shirts, i only do have one 70 or 60 plus t-shirt in my closet. but i would never have bought something so overpriced myself. its that silly girl. oh yes back to my point. about smells. no about guilt. yes that feeling of guilt.

so i'm about to do something unprecedented. in my case at the very least. i will make a series of confessions. of the things i didnt do and intend to do. (hence the guilt) things i feel like keeping to myself. and basically just confessions i would not otherwise not let out. i'm just experimenting since cos this blog's sitting there and i dont know if anyone's gonna read it. and its also part of my grand scheme of things on how to stop procrastinating and generally just improving my life. thats my new resolution anyway. heh. maybe if it works i'll confess here more in future. i'm just joking you prying like rat.

- i'm supposed to meet grace now! she's supposed to have woken up already but SHE must choose to sleep SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO late. such that 1472905649567546 phone calls wont wake her up. grrrr. feel like going over there now and strangling her. the weather's perfect now dear. perfect for the beach. but of course it wont be once you've woken up. havent you guys all watched the classic kit kat commercials? yeah that's what i'm talking about.

- POPtart tonight! i'm dying to go there with shan! its the only event i'm willing to drag my body into. fanfuckingtastic indie rock and roll! or is that electronica. face it i suck at identifying genres. anyway that shit's so good it'll make a believer out of you trust me. HOMEclub. the place to be at. BUT the thing is i CANT go tonight! i have 5 reports more to write! i am only half done with the most of them and i must finish them by sun to get to enjoy that day off! AND here's the deal. i havent told shan i cant go yet! ZoMG OMFG WTF! anyway by the time somebody tells him or he reads this blog himself i would probably have told him myself. so dont you go squealin' you little punk.

- AND YES MY REPORTS! due next week. one's on MUSIC TRENDS - EMO. one's on CLUBBING in Singapore. one's on A SHOCKING REVELATION. and one's on a MOVIE review. oh yes all these are for the magazine i'm writing for a final project. FABulouS stuff if i might say so myself. i'll publish all of the finished articles on my blog so all you mofos out there can snigger and criticise and laugh. but please tag to see any mistakes ok? all will be rolled out past midnight . unless of course shan manages to brainwash me to attend POPtart. then of course you can all pelt him with rotten eggs for making you miss out on modern literature. = ) tata.

2005-12-28T17:06:00.000+08:00

Confessions of a Ramen Enthusiast

I hereby confess i'm a ramen addict!
I'll eat all the noodles i possibly can eat!
There's nothing else worth dreaming
than a potfull of steaming
yellow goodness that is chockful of delicious soup stock.
I mean what could be better than some 5 spices pepper with
shoots to go with the most delicious of meats; pork!
Unless of which you're a vegetarian

Christmas Cards

2005-12-27T23:53:00.000+08:00

POST: Beaching!

2005-12-27T23:28:00.000+08:00

today i was at the beach! along with my dear, Kexin, Angie and Mel! its been hyped about for so long really.. how we should all go to the beach and tan really soon cos we're all sun worshippers! but its only till today that i had a chance to join them but its not like i'm complaining! it was so much fun!

tanning today was at Tanjong beach and not at the usual crowded spots.. it was initially quite secluded and hard to reach but it was worth it in the end cos thats where the famed KM8 is located! yes the same KM8 that taught singaporeans the meaning of foam parties! anyway for those unitiated, KM8 is the only club in singapore with a pool (i think). too bad the music was really sucky.. but how can i complain cos i was in a small pool with 4 girls!! roflol.. anyways the club is so named cos its 8 km away from its sister clubs liquid room and sound bar! hah betcha didnt know that!

after tanning which was ended so abruptly cos of the f#$king weather, we headed to the Harbor Front food court for dinner. or was that lunch. heck it was tea. i had mince pork noodles big plus more noodles! and it came out so big it was bigger than grace, xin and angie's noodles put together! noodles were yummy anyway. a tad pity they didnt have more lard!

then afterwards, we chose the weirdest place to slack! yes you guessed it, right at the food court/hawker centre haha! we sat there for quite a while and we just talked and talked and laughed. yes even i joined in! i'm such a bitch! then after the gossiping my darling headed to my place for some serious napping! poor girl really needs the rest after the wild weekend with who else.. me!

anyway it was such a fun day gracie, xin, angie and mel! i'll do anything to do it again! let me know the next time your hitting the sands k!

POST: Christmas!

2005-12-27T00:29:00.000+08:00

All I Want For Christmas Is You!

this christmas i got my all time biggest present! i got to spend it with the love of my life grace teo en hui! it had always been my dream do be able to spend christmas with the one thing dearest to my heart and i got to say it was terrific! believe it or not this is the first time i have a girlfriend during christmas in my life. that made it all the more special..

christmas is all about giving and receiving! i got my dear a new perfume and also her first pair of birks!
anyway the perfume pic is on the left. the birks are extremely rare so you cant see it haha. well she better like it!

we met on saturday evening cos she had to work! and since it was arranged that she treats for christmas eve dinner, we had a sumptious one at some japanese restaurant! actually intended to go to the fisherman's wharf or sth at ps but they only served christmas sets! and then they also didnt serve anything else apart from sets at fish & co. dang christmas. nevertheless anything with my baby is all good. so jap it was.

then on sunday it was another weird day cos the 'trinity' finally got together. met jon in the morning during chrismas. it was so strange with grace sitting in between, the person hopelessly in love with her sitted on the left and the person she loves sitting on the right. service was smashing anyhow. caught up with my bro for lunch. then shopped for kex's pressie in the evening. finally met andrew who presented a rather disappointing present. .and then it was the highlight of christmas - MOVIE MARATHON!

we bought ben & Jerry's chocolate chip cookie dough and sotong balls! total pig out man cos earlier we had the most fan-fucking-tastically indulgent food in the form of Vongolle, Otah Bruschetta and Profiteroles at Bakerzin.

started out with MY SASSY GIRL! those who have seen it, quick buy the dvd and watch it again! those who have not seen it, have you been on mars?!?! its absolutely one of the most original and intriguing love movies of all time. followed up that show with naked weapon. hell the title says it all now doesnt it. maggie q + boobs = woohoo! then we caught how to lose a guy in ten days. great stuff and the last movie was in the afternoon today. DUPLEX. funny as hell..

anyway i spent the night sleeping in the hot living room with dogs jumping on my head periodically every ten mins. not the best thing to experience the first time you stay over at your girl's place trust me.

but the food was so good. i was well fed thru and thru and i'm beginning to feel heartburn haha. trust me dear, you'll make a good wife. just cut down on the spending and the clubbing alright.

all in all the long weekend was really one of the most enjoyable times of my life. well worth the weight and much much more fun then i expected. following its immense success, we are deciding to hold a FRIENDS night soon! dvds