i am a self-sustaining entity.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

today my father launched a scathing verbal attack at me.. right in front of my siblings.

and it hurt like a lot. and my natural instincts kicked in when i felt an immense urge to insult/hurt/retaliate.

but i controlled my temper and headed into my room... and subsequently did the strangest but most natural thing i felt like doing.

i reached and felt for my heartbeat - racing. it felt rather strange and surreal to be doing that.. but at that moment it felt right to do what i did.

and then a voice entered my head.. "see how fast your pulse races when you get angry?"

and as i contemplated on why strong emotions would cause that effect, my heartbeat gradually slowed to normality and i didnt feel so angry anymore.

in another stab at spirituality, i accidentally hyperlinked myself to 'the passion' on wikipedia (i seriously dont know) and came across articles on the crucifixion and pontius pilate which i thought was a rather swank name.

in any case i feel that the rationality of an argument will only kick in once the emotions are not given free reign. and the only point your good sense of mind will come to you is when you wait. for a little while. at which point when rationality kicks in, an argument might come across as ridiculous and redundant.

the strong and the weak minded is defined by those who wait and those who do not.

and it doesnt hurt that i went to church today!

sammy says. at 11:39 PM