The Fray - Look After You
If I don't say this now I will surely break
As I'm leaving the one I want to take
Forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait
My heart has started to separate
Oh, oh,
Be my baby
Ohhhhh
Oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you
There now, steady love, so few come and don't go
Will you won't you, be the one I'll always know
When I'm losing my control, the city spins around
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down
Oh, oh
Be my baby
Ohhhhhh
Oh, oh
Be my Baby
I'll look after you
And I'll look after you
If ever there was a doubt
My love she leans into me
This most assuredly counts
She says most assuredly
Oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you
After You
Oh, oh
Be my baby
Ohhhhh
It's always have and never hold
You've begun to feel like home
What's mine is yours to leave or take
What's mine is yours to make your own
Oh, oh
Be my baby
Ohhhhh
Oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you
You are so beautiful to me ...
bro you want sexy song? i recommend you sexy song. = )
Nine Inch Nails - Closer
You let me violate you, you let me desecrate you
You let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you
Help me I broke apart my insides, help me I've got no
Soul to tell
Help me the only thing that works for me, help me get
Away from myself
I want to fuck you like an animal
I want to feel you from the inside
I want to fuck you like an animal
My whole existence is flawed
You get me closer to God
Help me tear down my reason, help me its your sex i
Can smell
Help me you make me perfect, help me become somebody
Else
I want to fuck you like an animal
I want to feel you from the inside
I want to fuck you like an animal
My whole existence is flawed
You get me closer to God
a simple phone call can make my day...
and make me realise how much i miss you.
it's funny as humans how you want this and that, demand for all your whatnots, chase your dreams and aspire to be whomsoever pleases you.
but the simplest things in life can brighten up your day.. and turn a mundane wednesday into a brilliant one.
anticipating... may was it?
auditions auditions auditions.
BEN & JERRY'S HERE I COME!
loving someone...
is hating yourself.
- Sammybear 24/04/07
but for you it's worth it = )
I miss you so much, a self inflicted coma
The days drag on like marathons,
I'm running with barefeet.
And when I feel the stress, I'm lonely and depressed
I picture you in the dress
You wore four weeks ago.
music is an escape. different songs for different times depicting different emotions.
this is how you really make me feel.. made me want to be.
Limb by limb and tooth by tooth
Tearing up inside of me
Every day every hour
I wish that I was bullet proof
Wax me
Mould me
Heat the pins and stab them in
You have turned me into this
Just wish that it was bullet proof
So pay the money and take a shot
Leadfill the hole in me
I could burst a million bubbles
All surrogate and bullet proof
blogging not from the comforts of my own home - but in comfort
wondering why some songs are always so special to you heart - sad songs
relishing the fact that an insomniac managed to coax another to sleep - irony
finding out that the most subtle things in the form of thought, word and deed can generate the most favourable responses - coming of age
been too busy to come on msn, much less blog. my life's going through a myriad of significant changes now. and you are part of it. = )
as mysterious as the da vinci code,
THANK YOU FOR THE DECEMBERS
you know who you are = )
i love you and i thank God for you. i live every second of every day now thinking how blessed and lucky i am to have you.
everything about you is what i wanna be. that's bliss.
Penny and i spend so much time together now that i've graduated and am working, awaiting impending doom in the form of NS. but she's more than just a bass guitar for me. she is me personified in the form of an instrument. you really realise how close you are to your bass when you realise that you are watching soccer and fretting it subconsciously. and that every moment you're apart from it, you think about the fun you're gonna have with it once you reach home.
it feels like puppy love all over again. blind, unconditional, innocent and genuine. it's a second virginity for me = P
and i recall the last jamming session with Lucid Dream. where we had 2 different groups of close to ten folks packed outside the studio trying to catch the glimpse of the band conjuring such a sonic wall of sound. and the shocked reaction one of them had when they realised there was only 3 members in the band. it's an honor for the band foremost, and for me....
and i think it all boils down to the techniques i use in that circumstance. specifically the bass fret-tapping i improvised because the band lacked a keyboardist and subsequent synthesizer. it's really easy to do, and so fucking showy i feel guilty displaying it.
of course, a normal bass cannot project that quality. only my Penny can.
and the way they expressed their appreciation in the form of gasps and oh-my-gods when we stepped out. it's funny how i've always clamoured for adulation, but shy away completely when i'm supposed to bask in it. sim implied that since i've impressed malays, there must be a certain degree of skill i must possess. i'm just shy.
cos i'm nothing without the band.
in Lucid Dream, showmanship is not a commodity; it's a prerequisite. we live to entertain. we live for the stage.
part 2:
a gentle smile, a fleeting glance a catch and a release.
a thousand miles, a second chance, do whatever you please.
part 1:
you waltzed back in my life. what a glorious refrain,
to say the words that'd kill you, but make you whole again.
Haste makes waste
much as i know about its definition as is the most appropriate way to apply this statement, i finally have to admit that it has caught up with me.
and nothing makes more sense than the subject of love.
sound the alarms, blare the trumpets, scream and shout, play the eagle-eyed cherry song for the umpteenth time. there's no denying it's a good feeling for me. cos i feel like sec 3 all over again.
my current outlook on life is largely detrimental to any chances of emotional growth. i'm still riding on the 21st birthday maturity boom. drive, desire and the innate need to 'make it' coarse through my veins as i attempt to establish something concrete and profit churning before i begin my PES C1L9 stint in NS.
but i have to stop and think. what do i want all this success for when i do attain it? will i really enjoy it alone? all by myself?
and then the answer instanteneously becomes crystal clear. or rather the question. "with whom do i share it with". lest i confuse you, i'm not talking about marriage for crying out loud. a girlfriend. duh.
so i've decided to put aside my mantra, my discipline, my code of conduct, and simply let nature take its course. solely regarding this matter. cos you cant procrastinate when it comes to making money haha. and conversely, you cant hurry love. you simply just have to wait.
so i'd wait.
Sometimes i think i do things just to spite other people, or myself for that matter. and all these activities occur outside my conscious mind. it also involves doing the exact opposite to what other people wish you to do.
one of the not so latest things i've done is to cut my super-duper-ultra-uber long hair (by my standards) to super-duper-ultra-uber short hair (by shan's standards). which is actually quite short. and this is by no means extraordinary, except that i cut it 1 day after i finished my polytechnic semestral exams. at the advise of 350984360945437 teachers that i might get debarred or not be permitted to take the papers because of improper hairstyle, i stuck with it.
in a grandiose show of lunacy, i shaved it 1 day later.
and the incessant stupidity continued when i finally decided to kick my biggest vice. yes that is after 350984360945437 X 3 of my schoolmates/classmates/close friends advised me to kick it. and kick i did, when it dont matter any more that is. well it's been 9 days counting, but i'm sticking through it cos i'm pitting my body against my mind. 1 hates the other; it's inate.
this nonsensical habit is inside me and has been dormant for quite a while now. but undoubtedly, it has been incited by a very special someone. thanks yo.
which brings me to my subject matter. this paranormal activity, lest it already has a valid term (!) shall be labelled aptly the...
Delibrate Contradiction Movement.
the DCM is absurdly self-gratifying as it is mortifying to the public. which just adds up together in my case. me and my sadistic self. it creates a holistic experience to fuel my morbid persona.
besides, it is now anybody's guess whether i would do things according to what people deem 'normal procedure' and give out favours i normally would. if i decide to wage war that is. unpredictability is the spice of life.
and let me tell you, it could liberalise you. lest you brand it as a cheap thrill. do not dismiss my notion, no not yet.
one of my mantra's has always been 'life is what you make of it'. similarly, your DCM can be what you make of it:
example 1: you could purposely trample the grass patch outside some government building which displays 'NO TRESPASSING' in bold. now that is stupid.
or
example 2: purposely date a fugly guy/girl who's the polar opposite of your ex whom he/her completely detests. and openly parade him/her in front of above-mentioned ex. c'est magnifique!
and now, don't knock it till you've tried it boys and girls. knowing that you're going against how your mind would normally respond releases the shackles of the mundane and monotonous life you lead, if only for a while. see, i'm beginning to make sense!
now let's make this clear, this blog post does not in any way condone nor encourage any acts of violence or downright impudence. nor does this blog post encourage you to pit yourself against authority (ie mother, girlfriend(s), policemen, teachers). i dont want to go to court as an accessory to crime you bloody scheming slobs.
and now, don't knock it till you've tried it boys and girls. knowing that you're going against how your mind would normally respond releases the shackles of the mundane and monotonous life you lead, if only for a while. see, i'm beginning to make sense!
now let's make this clear, this blog post does not in any way condone nor encourage any acts of violence or downright impudence. nor does this blog post encourage you to pit yourself against authority (ie mother, girlfriend(s), policemen, teachers). i dont want to go to court as an accessory to crime you bloody scheming slobs.
Mum: Why are you always mumbling to yourself.
Me: There's nobody here who's intelligent enough to engage me in a decent conversation.
Mum: . . .
The father of all hangovers - 09:56 Tuesday 27th February 2007 (taken from Quirkies)
Doctors in Belarus have treated a man who was more than 22 times over the drink driving limit.
Yuri Kherkov, 29, was found unconscious outside a pub in the town of Buda-Koshlevo after drinking the equivalent of five bottles of vodka.
He was taken to hospital where tests revealed he had 1170 mg of alcohol per 100 ml of blood) - more than twice the limit at which doctors say a person would normally die.
A doctor who treated him said: "He was unconscious for two days and when he woke up had a huge headache.
"But the level this man had in him was what we would expect after he had drunk five bottles of vodka, one straight after the other. I am amazed he is still alive and seems to have made a full recovery.
i've fought the battle.. and i've beaten the system.
well to a certain extent. and check out these abysmal grades. it's the testimonial of my entire poly life. a few ups peppered with plenty of downs. and it's for all to see.
it isint half that bad by people's perception of me. and it'd only be deemed a disaster if we all live by sah's standards. but since i'm not in the position to gripe about my 'why i didnt get a distinction but only an A', i've got loads to comment about this here debacle.
i still think that my grades for pubic (sic) relations is horrendously funny. i clearly remember my answers to the question "Define Ethics". Answer: Ethics is the moral majority's perception of righteousness. wtf man. all that studying culminated to me creating my own defination. on hindsight i think it a pretty fitting one. i accept all challenges.
Applied Project was a real cinch. hell the subject matter was my own restaurant *gasp*. yes the secret is out. but so are my grades. so there.
SM was a peach paper. i remembered looking at the notes and quaking in my boots. then i remembered smiling all the way after the paper ended. thanks KA. for the umpteenth time. i would not have graduated without you. and your notes.
but lo and behold. how can i say i graduated with a friggin' Diploma in Customer Relationship Management when i got a bloody D+ on my transcript. That's like saying you're an army Commanding Officer and not knowing the difference between cheebye and nabeh.
i am embarassed. but on another issue altogether, i'm proud that i've kept my deal. and that shan has joined my side for the civil war. 6 days and counting...
"there’s still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
there’s still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
it’s still a little hard to say what's going on"
been distracted by something, or should i say someone. it's a nice feeling to know that after so long, i'm still in touch with my emotions. i condescend. no matter how rational i try to be, i'm still human.
but i repudiate my statement. having spent so much time breaking out of my crestfallen chrysalis; the taste of sorrow is never far from my tongue.
there’s still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
it’s still a little hard to say what's going on"
been distracted by something, or should i say someone. it's a nice feeling to know that after so long, i'm still in touch with my emotions. i condescend. no matter how rational i try to be, i'm still human.
but i repudiate my statement. having spent so much time breaking out of my crestfallen chrysalis; the taste of sorrow is never far from my tongue.
been busy cramming for my exams. that's why i havent been able to blog. but i'm sure you know that.
but i decided to visit this barren page to seek some solace from the books.
gotta focus. FOCUS. Focus. focus. vocus. vogus. vegas. Vegas. VEGAS!
guess who's going to Fall Out Boy's only gig in Asia, the 2 hr extravaganza showcasing their new album Infinity On High?lucky for me cos i dont really know their older albums, save for 'Where is Your Boy'. though i thought this album was really rad and i promoted it to everyone.
even luckier for me cos it's one day after exams. talk about a well-earned break.
now for the great VALENTINE'S DAY
AUTOPSY
i know you've heard it all before. people whining about how it's a grand waste of money. how if you're in love everyday's a special day. but let me tell you something. if you're single and unattached, Valentine's Day heightens your loneliness and makes you acutely aware you NEED the opposite sex.
but for me it's been a lot better. cos on Valentine's Day, it's better to have a void in your heart then to have it smashed and broken into little bits. like not so long ago = (
and better is an understatement! it has been a blast!
╬ i went out with the ever-so lovely Cara and Carrie in the afternoon...
╬ and completed my day with my dearest Ai Qing in the evening...
haha it'll be a cold-day in hell before my wildest dreams come true and all this were to occur, not to mention on the same V-Day! in all honesty, V-Day represented itself as a special day, but for much more different reasons; the last day of school. which is why i had the chance to take pics with all my leading ladies! how i wish everyday was the last day....
as a footnote, it's these gorgeous and effervescent ladies i get to see everyday, that make me conjure up my catchphrase: "stress? what stress?" so it's fundamental you send your children to schools where they have beautiful people. point taken?
this year, Valentine's day came and went. just another wednesday. and i had to work in the evening to boot. pffffft. ah but the tips were another thing = )
and as for school, i discovered i accomplished a rather holistic process. i was late for the first day of school and i was late for the last day of school as well. albeit not a very proud achievement, for i missed all my classes save one. and for that class which i attended, i spent it playing with my newly tuned PSP.
but i effectively turned up to take loads of pictures. the culmination of 3 years of polytechnic life.
worth it. worth it.
and for all my poly-mates out there, i will not compose entries and articles that will bring tears to your eyes as you reflect on days gone by, of the good times and the bad, of the fun times and the joyous occasions. and i'm damn sure you know i can do just that.
but instead i would like you guys to treat this not as an end, but as a new beginning. for today marks the end of our relationship as classmates and poly-mates. we are not bonded by this material label anymore. today, you have all transcended that stage.
as of today, we are officially known as friends.
except for jx. i'd never forgive you.
and always remember that we will meet real soon for this is not like secondary school when you don't know how to balance your emotions and pick your friends. we are all mature and more realistic. in poly, we all have choices and make decisions. so let's decide to meet real soon.
FOR PSP ENTHUSIASTS ONLY. (sane folks please don't highlight)
i feel proud of myself...
today i can proudly add PSP Firmware Specialist to my already glittering CV.
a classmate's boyfriend wanted to mod his PSP to be able to do ISOs and CSOs. but the problem is, it's a firmware version 2.60 - highly unpopular and troublesome to mod.
and initially i thought i could get my friends to help out cos i've got no frigging clue how it all added up. but i ended up getting down and dirty. yeah! and learning quite a bit in the process.
but i dont blame them really. maybe they're busy, maybe they're not that familiar with a weird system. or maybe they're not as CRAZY as me.
everytime i downgraded/upgraded the PSP, the overwriting of the system flash had a probability of bricking (crashing the PSP and rendering it useless forever). and downgrade/upgrade i did.. and if that were to happen, i probably had to pay him a brand new set. WTF!! i dont even know his surname. but i'm a crazy sonova........
for it was a firmware 2.6, i had to upgrade it to 2.71. then downgrade it to 1.5. and finally upgrade it to Dark Alex's custom firmware 3.10OE-A. but not before upgrading it as well.
2.6 > 2.71 > 1.5 > 3.10E-A > 3.10E-A'
how many times did i rewrite the flash? i dare not count. i recalled with each boot, my heart was palpitating as i watched the progress percentage: 30%...61%...78% OMG did it stall? 81%...82% move faster bitch!
but at the end of the day it went well. i cant fathom how close i was to becoming a pauper while trying to be a good samaritan. nor could i imagine how stupid and crazy i was.
and i was still sweet enough to make sure his wallpaper stayed the same, and all his preferences, pictures and music was in the right place. not trying to be a nice guy. i'm a dickhead. guess it's about having pride in your work.
whatever the heck, Sammy the PSP Firmware Specialist is NOT at your service. go to a gameshop to get it done instead. about $20 - $50. = )
Anyway i must be a Goddamn pioneer in this whole highlight-no-highlight thingamagig. explain to me once again why i'm not a genius.
copyright sammy.
"My dear the Heart which you behold, Will break when you the same unfold,
Even so my heart with lovesick pain,
Sure wounded is and breaks in twain."
- Anon (1790)
A Happy Valentine's day to all those blissfully in love! For those who are not celebrating, keep heart; Sammy's single and right down with you! = )
dearest jimmy.. you'd always be remembered for all the right reasons.i recall a rather abrupt conversation i had with a survey girl on the streets yesterday. it's easy to see why:
Girl: Hi sir may i have a minute of your time?
Sammybear: Go ahead.
G: I'm from XX company and I'm here to conduct a simple survey on purchasing behavior. This would be over very fast.
S: Ok.
G: How may I address you sir?
S: Sammy.
G: Nice to meet you Sammy. I'm Adeline. May I know your occupation?
S: I'm a product tester.
G: Oh. A product tester? Namely what product?
S: I test mattresses for their spring and durability.
G: Mattresses? Am I safe to say it's a desk job? Or can I put you under manufacturing? How do you test it?
S: I have sex on them from 8 to 5.
G: Erm....
and it was all downhill from that point. i get serious kicks really. a cheap thrill perhaps but nothing amuses me more than to break the human psyche and predict emotions. and besides a well crafted prank is. as i always say. priceless.
as i peer over the cliff
i finally see
that the war is nearing its end
and i am infringing on
the final frontiers
of projectwork
cut the crap. i'm almost not going to be busy. but as carrie told me today, it's the last lap. so let that be.
anyway i'm too busy to blog. for my next post.. i'm gonna talk about what superhero i want to be..